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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

#2804
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15380) - you deserved it (1434)

On 01/27/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by impatient amy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

#2738
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5922) - you deserved it (57141)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

#2727
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22467) - you deserved it (2218)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by glittercat - United States (Missouri)

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

#2721
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4821) - you deserved it (27107)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by godhatesme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML

#2709
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19286) - you deserved it (1673)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Rothaar - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML

#2695
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (16994)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Danana - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I bought a mini tracking device to attach to my wallet to keep me from losing it. Unfortunately, before I could put batteries in the tracking device, I lost it. FML

#2681
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13534) - you deserved it (7245)

On 01/26/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Jacobro - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad learned how to use the parental controls. I now have an 11 o'clock curfew. I am 17. FML

#2670
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14988) - you deserved it (5026)

On 01/26/2009 at 12:38pm - misc - by dangyo - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36252) - you deserved it (8883)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

#2620
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6053) - you deserved it (48913)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Timmy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

#2596
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18441) - you deserved it (4081)

On 01/25/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by Michelle C - United States (California)

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML

#2590
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3188) - you deserved it (19421)

On 01/25/2009 at 9:38pm - misc - by smoker - United States (California)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12007) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)



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