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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said,"You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML

#248293
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48852) - you deserved it (5086)

On 03/09/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by frosho (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went to an Honors Convocation for my school. I received a letter a few weeks earlier telling me I received an award. Surprised and proud, I invited my family to join me to see what award I was receiving. I couldn't find my name in the program. I was invited by mistake. FML

#247185
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49407) - you deserved it (2461)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

#245062
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63572) - you deserved it (19572)

On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

#243465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42616) - you deserved it (17719)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

#243241
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39161) - you deserved it (11445)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by fashionVictim (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

#242158
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58858) - you deserved it (4403)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by kelsey (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the man I have been dating for 3 weeks, who told me he owns a high end restaurant in the city, handed me my lunch order through the drive-thru at Wendy's. FML

#241205
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57349) - you deserved it (9133)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by marge1010 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML

#241077
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57857) - you deserved it (2511)

On 03/08/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Noname - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML

#240683
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44510) - you deserved it (9226)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going over to my friends house for dinner, (it was my birthday) when I walked in everyone yelled surprise and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me she said "wrong person guys, turn off the lights". FML

#240271
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55070) - you deserved it (2777)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by PmS (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was driving on the freeway in the back seat of my friends car. I looked over to the left and was greeted by a van full of adolescent boys waving and making the "call me" hand gesture. I then happened to looked down and realized that my right boob was completely out of my top. FML

#240249
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16062) - you deserved it (48682)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

#238786
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54264) - you deserved it (3885)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML

#238492
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27375) - you deserved it (53949)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)



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