Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML

#102493
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36302) - you deserved it (6045)

On 02/22/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by highlycontagious - United States (Illinois)

Today, my Grandma was showing me an ancient family letter. It was apparently written by someone historically famous. She was going on about how important it was, in such good condition too, worth a lot. I dropped my glass of juice. It spilt all over it. FML

#101667
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17750) - you deserved it (41654)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by damn-it (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was happy because my exact shirt and sweater were in seventeen magazine. They were in the "what not to wear" category. FML

#101622
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (12180)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by secenteenmagazine. - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

#100454
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10289) - you deserved it (28990)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by FailAtLife - United States (Illinois)

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

#99894
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49076) - you deserved it (5177)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother told me she was going out of town this weekend. I re-assured her that I would not throw a party. She replied "Oh, like you have enough friends to do that." FML

#98981
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41598) - you deserved it (3727)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by stinker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

#98260
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68127) - you deserved it (2866)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by well then... (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

#98125
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37712) - you deserved it (9291)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by taperjeangirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14315) - you deserved it (60220)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML

#95150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12829) - you deserved it (30074)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by story of my life. - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I think teddy bears are THE most pointless and careless gift. He shyly gave me my birthday present afterwards. It was a carebear. FML

#94960
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9021) - you deserved it (59184)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by eejit (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML

#94383
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9659) - you deserved it (51250)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)



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