Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4325) - you deserved it (35022)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32279) - you deserved it (4705)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML

#3070
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (1478)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by calikola - United States (New Jersey)

Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML

#3036
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43029) - you deserved it (1523)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by kiddo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5452) - you deserved it (23045)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I broke, shoveled, and salted the ice covering my entire driveway. The size is roughly 8 cars' worth, and took me two hours of back-breaking effot to clear. I completely forgot that it was supposed to rain later today. FML

#3014
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6904) - you deserved it (13485)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by bedrockmike - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

#3008
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18000) - you deserved it (1849)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)

Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML

#2972
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (2053)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:03am - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to buy some Ibuprofen and got asked for ID. You have to be over 16 to buy it. I'm 25. FML

#2946
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17058) - you deserved it (2070)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by noneoftheabove - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

#2857
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5095) - you deserved it (16692)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

#2831
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9576) - you deserved it (23671)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

#2804
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15379) - you deserved it (1434)

On 01/27/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by impatient amy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

#2738
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5919) - you deserved it (57138)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)



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