Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54353) - you deserved it (5055)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (50291)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

#21178301
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47891) - you deserved it (7394)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by ifeelfat (woman) - United States

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

#21178277
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43206) - you deserved it (4105)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by the lannisters send their retards - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML

#21178066
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44351) - you deserved it (3958)

On 06/17/2014 at 1:34pm - misc - by luckycharmed (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML

#21176835
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45390) - you deserved it (8961)

On 06/16/2014 at 2:50pm - misc - by FMeeee (woman) - Portugal (Aveiro)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43912) - you deserved it (9905)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50798) - you deserved it (5794)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

#21175721
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34533) - you deserved it (3513)

On 06/15/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46103) - you deserved it (22754)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML

Today, my mom found out that I've been having counselling behind her back for the past 4 years. I broke down in tears explaining everything. Her response was, "So you go and bitch about me behind my back?!" And she wonders why I'm depressed. FML

#21174174
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48228) - you deserved it (5111)

On 06/14/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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