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Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

#21256874
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20125) - you deserved it (40638)

On 09/12/2014 at 10:32am - misc - by uppiskalle - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19887) - you deserved it (25512)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I entered the lecture hall where my class takes place. I sat in the front row as usual, but I noticed that none of the other students looked familiar. I quickly realised that I was in the wrong class after a different professor showed up and told me to get out. FML

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML

Today, I was driving to the DMV to take a test, after getting some points removed from my license. On the way there, I got a speeding ticket and got my license suspended completely. FML

#21256258
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17254) - you deserved it (46426)

On 09/11/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by hockusa3 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was watching "My Strange Addiction". The woman featured ate rocks. While judging her weird habit, I realised I was chewing on a coat-hanger the whole time. FML

#21256247
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31783) - you deserved it (11728)

On 09/11/2014 at 10:57am - misc - by ayeayeboy19 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42951) - you deserved it (15742)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35401) - you deserved it (2827)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30 foot wide entrance, but not the two foot wide tree. FML

#21255774
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36224) - you deserved it (3474)

On 09/10/2014 at 4:15pm - misc - by Crash (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML

Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML

#21255144
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35893) - you deserved it (6769)

On 09/09/2014 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was replaced in the symphony I play in. I play the clarinet, and a standard symphony only uses two, so getting into one can be quite competitive. My conductor's reasoning? "I was sure you were going to college." I never mentioned college to him, other than saying I wasn't going. FML

Today, my sister told me the reason why she went with me to a gay pride parade a few months ago was because she thought it would inspire me to come out. FML



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