Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39069) - you deserved it (5236)
On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)
Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30979) - you deserved it (14191)
On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31351) - you deserved it (3442)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by vegas518 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32771) - you deserved it (7054)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States
Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47679) - you deserved it (3362)
On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17909) - you deserved it (61306)
On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)
Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37357) - you deserved it (2790)
On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19721) - you deserved it (36742)
On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36876) - you deserved it (2904)
On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40965) - you deserved it (2363)
On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34422) - you deserved it (11670)
On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36262) - you deserved it (15901)
On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)
Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28473) - you deserved it (6164)
On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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