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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I received my graduation gift, a bath robe, from my parents. My have two older sisters also graduated. The first one got a Tiffany's bracelet, the second one got a plane ticket to Europe. FML

#260878
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68082) - you deserved it (3048)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by dileigh (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88804) - you deserved it (26970)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69112) - you deserved it (2894)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

#259626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65302) - you deserved it (2657)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:02am - misc - by Janet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

#259596
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84123) - you deserved it (26771)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

#254929
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19993) - you deserved it (50118)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting my co-workers son. He was eating jell-o and spilt it on his top, so I pulled off his pj's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year old. FML

#254366
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43136) - you deserved it (5236)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

#253900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79314) - you deserved it (7759)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML

#252783
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58147) - you deserved it (2814)

On 03/09/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by Tony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

#252691
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14009) - you deserved it (99904)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML

#252648
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70254) - you deserved it (2615)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by stillwaiting (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

#251133
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74801) - you deserved it (7905)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to lighten my hair. I applied the dye and waited 20 minutes. When I went to wash the dye out, the water wouldn't turn on. After my head started to burn, I called the landlord in a panic. Turns out there was a water main break and the entire city block doesn't have water. FML

#250942
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74605) - you deserved it (5293)

On 03/09/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by NowABlonde (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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