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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML

#227236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52424) - you deserved it (3190)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my four best friends are going to Florida for spring break without me. When asked why I was not invited to go with them the answer I received was, "we don't think you would look very good in a bathing suit, and we want to be able to pick up cute guys on the beach." FML

#226392
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62989) - you deserved it (5762)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

#225993
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14500) - you deserved it (44094)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by thebickster (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#224033
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48936) - you deserved it (6625)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by oconron (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

#222376
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22895) - you deserved it (47306)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47162) - you deserved it (10147)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46472) - you deserved it (25478)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. 30 minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

#220421
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46717) - you deserved it (19021)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by ohboy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML

#219438
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6068) - you deserved it (59684)

On 03/05/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by anashaalmajiid (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML

#218369
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19552) - you deserved it (58376)

On 03/05/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by cane - United States (North Carolina)

Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML

#218280
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64485) - you deserved it (4462)

On 03/05/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by failout (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (475646) - you deserved it (45855)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

#216994
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52123) - you deserved it (3018)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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