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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36458) - you deserved it (81190)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

#594482
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65756) - you deserved it (9686)

On 03/25/2009 at 1:45am - misc - by face (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my watch broke so I casually mentioned to my dad that I needed a new one. A little while later he hands me this really nice watch. He says, "Here, this one's been lying around for a while". It was the watch I gave him for Father's Day. FML

#593767
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72034) - you deserved it (4406)

On 03/25/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by regiftee (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a kid I coach on a regular basis was talking to me about what I did outside of work. After we were done with the conversation, she told me with a straight face that I need to get a life and get a boyfriend. She's 10. And she's right. FML

#593452
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52392) - you deserved it (9262)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by gymnasticscoach (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

#590218
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15972) - you deserved it (96542)

On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML

#584648
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44752) - you deserved it (24277)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by casey (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

#582886
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19669) - you deserved it (81892)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (602209) - you deserved it (38012)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a co-worker and I walked out of our office at the same time. He got in his car, which was parked right out front. I asked him what I had to do to get a sweet parking spot like that. He rolled up his pant leg and show me his prosthesis. He was in the handicapped spot. FML

#579815
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15023) - you deserved it (71116)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Prometheus (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML

#574941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62520) - you deserved it (9541)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got up extra early to curl my hair because I wanted to look nice at school for a change. After coming downstairs my mom yells at me and says, "See, when you don't wake up on time your hair looks like that. You could have atleast combed it!" FML

#574759
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63205) - you deserved it (5421)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by Rai (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML

#572607
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52621) - you deserved it (13651)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:18am - misc - by kha (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at the store, I heard a kid complaining about getting braces. While I was saying 'thank you' and 'bye' to the cashier, his grandma must've seen my slightly crooked teeth. She pointed and said, "Without them, your teeth will look bad like that man's!" Everyone around looked at me. FML

#572216
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58567) - you deserved it (4073)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:19am - misc - by teef (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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