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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML

#24997
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30398) - you deserved it (7347)

On 02/11/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by seriously?! (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57410) - you deserved it (2916)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?" FML

#24685
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (3791)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:59am - misc - by ADD (man) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

#24664
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28813) - you deserved it (6472)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by Chicketi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML

#24601
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25697) - you deserved it (2101)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:08am - misc - by Killmenow (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML

#24461
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12842) - you deserved it (25083)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML

#24455
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20162) - you deserved it (14172)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

#24019
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44652) - you deserved it (7549)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by J (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10281) - you deserved it (23330)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML

#23475
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (4802)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by C. Kronick (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

#23429
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (2240)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by Casper (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

#22681
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (5224)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by thunder thighs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

#22156
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29449) - you deserved it (4635)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Tennessee)



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