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Today, I decided to do a load of laundry. Two minutes into the cycle, I realized that I left my iPod in my sweatpants pocket. The washing machine door locks automatically and cannot be opened until the 40-minute cycle is up. FML

Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML

#250263
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88048) - you deserved it (2952)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:12am - misc - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML

#249952
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46414) - you deserved it (8308)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by McChunky =( - United States (California)

Today, I was walking from my office to the place i had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. As I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML

#249520
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90977) - you deserved it (3846)

On 03/09/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Chops (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to surprise my parents by coming home from college for Spring Break. I arrived to find a dark house, with all the doors bolted shut. After calling them, I found out that they have gone on a vacation to Hawaii for a week. I am now locked out of my own house, with no where to stay. FML

#249220
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44793) - you deserved it (11634)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Abandoned (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said,"You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML

#248293
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47972) - you deserved it (5014)

On 03/09/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by frosho (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went to an Honors Convocation for my school. I received a letter a few weeks earlier telling me I received an award. Surprised and proud, I invited my family to join me to see what award I was receiving. I couldn't find my name in the program. I was invited by mistake. FML

#247185
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49333) - you deserved it (2457)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

#245062
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63506) - you deserved it (19554)

On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

#243465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (17702)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

#243241
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39099) - you deserved it (11427)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by fashionVictim (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

#242158
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58433) - you deserved it (4370)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by kelsey (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the man I have been dating for 3 weeks, who told me he owns a high end restaurant in the city, handed me my lunch order through the drive-thru at Wendy's. FML

#241205
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57269) - you deserved it (9129)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by marge1010 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML

#241077
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57791) - you deserved it (2506)

On 03/08/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Noname - United Kingdom (London)



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