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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

#3061560
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38341) - you deserved it (8818)

On 06/20/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by WhyTheFNot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, was my high school's senior awards ceremony. Over 400 people were crammed in the hot auditorium. I won five awards and each time I was called up the laughter grew louder. Apparently even the back row could see my pit stains. FML

#3060305
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41075) - you deserved it (4815)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by asdf (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML

#3055802
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (51885)

On 06/20/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by DuckyKiller (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I drove a drunk Venezuelan exchange student home after a prom party. Notable events: her puking on the way to the vehicle, her yelling in Spanish at the top of her lungs in the car, her puking out the window in the moving vehicle, and her crying because she felt bad for making me drive. FML

#3053433
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42229) - you deserved it (4649)

On 06/20/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by DesDri (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML

#3051182
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38372) - you deserved it (11950)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:47am - misc - by mk (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after dieting and working out for almost 3 months, I sit down on my chair to finish off some work. It broke. FML

#3050286
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38848) - you deserved it (4307)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by babasheep - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

#3048050
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10961) - you deserved it (60139)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, all my friends had a huge party and 'forgot' to invite me. They only remembered about me at 2 am when they called asking for rides home because they were all too drunk to drive. FML

#3040263
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43244) - you deserved it (2309)

On 06/19/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by Kerry (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was showing my unique new tattoo to my friends when a man approaches me with his digital camera and asks if he could take a picture of the tattoo for his website. I agreed. I find out later that it's a site about ugly tattoos. FML

#3038702
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14069) - you deserved it (41660)

On 06/19/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by popemichael (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to see what websites I go on from my computer while I wasn't home. She clicked the link that gave my computer a virus that I just got rid of a few days ago. FML

#3030585
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42413) - you deserved it (4917)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML

#3030130
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9688) - you deserved it (40077)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by crap (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

#3028813
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42984) - you deserved it (3205)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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