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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

#600956
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (115744)

On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73258) - you deserved it (5550)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

#598465
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147219) - you deserved it (11593)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36425) - you deserved it (81171)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

#594482
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65705) - you deserved it (9681)

On 03/25/2009 at 1:45am - misc - by face (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my watch broke so I casually mentioned to my dad that I needed a new one. A little while later he hands me this really nice watch. He says, "Here, this one's been lying around for a while". It was the watch I gave him for Father's Day. FML

#593767
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71990) - you deserved it (4404)

On 03/25/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by regiftee (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a kid I coach on a regular basis was talking to me about what I did outside of work. After we were done with the conversation, she told me with a straight face that I need to get a life and get a boyfriend. She's 10. And she's right. FML

#593452
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52358) - you deserved it (9259)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by gymnasticscoach (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

#590218
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15955) - you deserved it (96461)

On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML

#584648
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44712) - you deserved it (24262)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by casey (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

#582886
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19659) - you deserved it (81856)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (597934) - you deserved it (37962)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a co-worker and I walked out of our office at the same time. He got in his car, which was parked right out front. I asked him what I had to do to get a sweet parking spot like that. He rolled up his pant leg and show me his prosthesis. He was in the handicapped spot. FML

#579815
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15001) - you deserved it (71084)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Prometheus (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML

#574941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62480) - you deserved it (9538)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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