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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML

#553334
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70217) - you deserved it (7799)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by unloved (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

#551399
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13422) - you deserved it (121175)

On 03/23/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by lily (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML

#548687
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59814) - you deserved it (8921)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Ltl_Dust_Bunny (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I just got back from a Civil War Reenactment in Virginia, my first big event in years. I spent over $200 on gas and food, and had to drive for over 10 hours both ways from Massachusetts. When I finally got there I realized, I had left my uniform at home. FML

#548341
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24516) - you deserved it (56251)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by Earthboundb (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received two withdrawl grades in school for droping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did this, and he said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML

#547884
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104178) - you deserved it (3978)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:12am - misc - by snoozer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, me and couple of friends were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car at 30 that had stopped to help her. FML

#546076
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8430) - you deserved it (92955)

On 03/23/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by mbrooke (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and she was making me listen to one of her recordings for chorus. As I was listening to it a solo came on, and i turned to her and said "This is the worst F*ing solo I've ever heard in my life." Little did I know, it was her solo. FML

#539195
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13175) - you deserved it (78830)

On 03/22/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
334 comments

Today, I got my laptop back after sending it to Dell to repair water damage after a night of partying. Dell returned my computer unrepaired, saying it was unfixable. When I called to ask why they couldn't fix it, they told me it was a biohazard. Someone got drunk and pissed on my laptop. FML

#529692
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52310) - you deserved it (21579)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML

#528307
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26872) - you deserved it (58689)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my friend asked me if she could borrow my laptop and I can pick it up later and I said ok. I stop by her house later and no one answers. The next-door neighbor says that she left to go live with her mom. She lives in Detroit. I live in Maine. FML

#523827
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62947) - you deserved it (9637)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by Myriam (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#522932
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71518) - you deserved it (23268)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by joshinbaltimore (man) - United States (Oregon)



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