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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML

#5141250
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45825) - you deserved it (5258)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by comet5002 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my ex bought a digital camera, an iPod, and a large flat-screen TV, all purchased with the alimony I'm paying him. FML

#5141204
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32985) - you deserved it (7498)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Goodie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML

#5138751
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49523) - you deserved it (19409)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by whyme27 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

#5136850
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14525) - you deserved it (51893)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spent all day at the hospital with my grandma for some tests. When I drove her back home she decided to thank me with $50. Knowing she is unemployed, I told her I couldn't take a whole $50. She replied with "Ungrateful, just like your mother", then took the money and left. FML

#5136505
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37493) - you deserved it (4301)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML

Today, in Chem, I was chosen to hold the fire extinguisher just in case something happened while showing how to blow up a dangerous chemical. My teacher told me to spray if anything got out of control. He lit the fire and I freaked out and sprayed it. The entire wing of my school was evacuted. FML

#5131890
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10379) - you deserved it (43673)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by firefighter (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

#5130583
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57866) - you deserved it (3929)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML

#5128591
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14997) - you deserved it (45619)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by NoMoreHeadphones (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML

#5126922
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6761) - you deserved it (81843)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by HotToTrotskyite (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML

#5121769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40771) - you deserved it (5052)

On 09/08/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Chaznuts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML

#5116471
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59102) - you deserved it (2497)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by kennedygeeee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got jumped by five dudes who took my phone. On it I had naked pictures of myself. An hour later they sent the pictures to all of my contacts. FML

#5113950
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23193) - you deserved it (45383)

On 09/07/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by c-mack (man) - United States (Maryland)



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