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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62260) - you deserved it (4821)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

#59474
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9065) - you deserved it (35575)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I want to try out for American Idol. She responded with, "You don't take disappointment well." FML

#59071
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10581) - you deserved it (23258)

On 02/17/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by abbyleigh08 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a couple videos of me playing guitar and singing some of my favorite songs. I arrived back from school to find my family huddled around the cam-corder laughing, imitating, and making jokes about the video. FML

#58147
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (6844)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by SADlilAZN (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8134) - you deserved it (56857)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML

#55287
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (7357)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Dasani (woman) - United States (California)

Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I'm 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML

#54782
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63935) - you deserved it (3341)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Elmo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally deleted my entire email inbox. Everything from the last 3 years. EV-ER-Y-THING. FML

#54626
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13053) - you deserved it (49189)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by loserman - United States (California)

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

#54355
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35179) - you deserved it (4171)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by LonelyInLA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

#54346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10214) - you deserved it (59992)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by Italian_Stallion (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

#52695
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37688) - you deserved it (9671)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by k (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11042) - you deserved it (69813)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (5401)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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