Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML

by Homeless / 03/09/2009 at 8:12am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML

by McChunky =( / 03/09/2009 at 4:25am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to surprise my parents by coming home from college for Spring Break. I arrived to find a dark house, with all the doors bolted shut. After calling them, I found out that they have gone on a vacation to Hawaii for a week. I am now locked out of my own house, with no where to stay. FML

by Abandoned / 03/09/2009 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said,"You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML

by frosho / 03/09/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an Honors Convocation for my school. I received a letter a few weeks earlier telling me I received an award. Surprised and proud, I invited my family to join me to see what award I was receiving. I couldn't find my name in the program. I was invited by mistake. FML

by Noname / 03/08/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

by poop / 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

by fashionVictim / 03/08/2009 at 4:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

by kelsey / 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML

by Noname / 03/08/2009 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML

112I agree, your life sucks49692Yep, we thought so too9904

by Ugly / 03/08/2009 at 4:47am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going over to my friends house for dinner, (it was my birthday) when I walked in everyone yelled surprise and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me she said "wrong person guys, turn off the lights". FML

by PmS / 03/08/2009 at 3:16am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

by Noname / 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML

by bu09 / 03/07/2009 at 3:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous