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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was at IKEA with my parents. I walked away from them and later I heard the speaker of the store call my name asking me to come to the playground because my mom and dad were worried. I'm 18. FML

#832859
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68200) - you deserved it (4454)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:12am - misc - by BrilsmurfO_O (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

#831890
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21053) - you deserved it (58982)

On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said "me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML

#831466
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63952) - you deserved it (9137)

On 04/06/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by annonymous (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

#830447
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10513) - you deserved it (44507)

On 04/06/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by rmo1776 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was talking with my father on the phone when I mentioned I wanted to stay at school over the summer and work. He asked if it would be lonely with the campus empty, when I replied that my friends would be working here too. He asked: "What, all two of them?" FML

#829744
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49971) - you deserved it (4611)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by halebop (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had a really cute waitress at lunch. I decided to leave my number and a $50 bill for a $15 check. When I left the restaurant I realized I still had the $50 but a $1 bill was missing from my wallet. I've been getting threatening text messages all day. FML

#829368
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15474) - you deserved it (58009)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I jokingly went over to a an attractive female co-worker and said "you look like you need a hug". She told me she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be touched. No more than 30 seconds after our encounter she ran to give one of our more attractive male co-workers a hug. FML

#828756
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52144) - you deserved it (9583)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by Lastsecondstand - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

#828379
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17772) - you deserved it (59817)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some cheez-its I had in my room. After I had enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML

#827222
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56075) - you deserved it (15276)

On 04/05/2009 at 11:19pm - misc - by hungry (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML

#821314
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55390) - you deserved it (8099)

On 04/05/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by YAABOIII (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19988) - you deserved it (256809)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML

#819596
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80060) - you deserved it (5737)

On 04/05/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by brizzle (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

#818828
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64495) - you deserved it (17694)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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