Today, a guy in the library came up to me and said, "You look very unproductive. It makes me depressed just watching you". FML

by Noname / 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML

by disgusting / 02/04/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

by parishiltonsbff / 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What asshole can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML

by j0natron / 02/03/2009 at 3:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML

by sh33zy / 02/03/2009 at 3:27pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

by Noname / 02/03/2009 at 3:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

by Noname / 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

by baller12 / 02/03/2009 at 10:25am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML

by Cob / 02/03/2009 at 8:03am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML

by fuckedalready / 02/03/2009 at 7:40am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

by wtf / 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

by houdini / 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

by asdf / 02/02/2009 at 1:07pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous