Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML

#548687
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59790) - you deserved it (8921)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Ltl_Dust_Bunny (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I just got back from a Civil War Reenactment in Virginia, my first big event in years. I spent over $200 on gas and food, and had to drive for over 10 hours both ways from Massachusetts. When I finally got there I realized, I had left my uniform at home. FML

#548341
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (56237)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by Earthboundb (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received two withdrawl grades in school for droping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did this, and he said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML

#547884
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104126) - you deserved it (3973)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:12am - misc - by snoozer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, me and couple of friends were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car at 30 that had stopped to help her. FML

#546076
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8425) - you deserved it (92911)

On 03/23/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by mbrooke (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and she was making me listen to one of her recordings for chorus. As I was listening to it a solo came on, and i turned to her and said "This is the worst F*ing solo I've ever heard in my life." Little did I know, it was her solo. FML

#539195
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13169) - you deserved it (78789)

On 03/22/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
334 comments

Today, I got my laptop back after sending it to Dell to repair water damage after a night of partying. Dell returned my computer unrepaired, saying it was unfixable. When I called to ask why they couldn't fix it, they told me it was a biohazard. Someone got drunk and pissed on my laptop. FML

#529692
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52288) - you deserved it (21576)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML

#528307
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (58668)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my friend asked me if she could borrow my laptop and I can pick it up later and I said ok. I stop by her house later and no one answers. The next-door neighbor says that she left to go live with her mom. She lives in Detroit. I live in Maine. FML

#523827
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62494) - you deserved it (9593)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by Myriam (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#522932
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71498) - you deserved it (23261)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by joshinbaltimore (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents and I were looking through old photos. My dad comments, "Wow you were chubby back then. But that's ok, it was baby fat." Then he turns to me and asks, "What's your excuse now?" FML

#521757
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51629) - you deserved it (10103)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worrying he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I left the cash in the machine. FML

#518934
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18448) - you deserved it (76410)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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