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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after finishing a huge French essay, I realized my printer wasn't working. So, I emailed it to a guy in my class to print and then give to me. When I get to French, he said he had already turned his in early and never got my email. It turned out he used mine. I got an F on the essay. FML

#635600
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62219) - you deserved it (16623)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by lauren555 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend in the hallway of our school, and once we got to his class, I leaned in for a kiss. Surprising me, he leaned away, and I asked what was wrong. He told me he's glad we're going out, but just doesn't want anyone to know. FML

#629256
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59909) - you deserved it (4467)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by denied - United States (Delaware)

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then proceded to joke about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16372) - you deserved it (108746)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML

#622063
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82648) - you deserved it (4744)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by sweet (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I texted this girl that I really like. I got a message back saying "Your message to 903-***-**** could not go through due to a disconnection, thanks, Alltel services." I overheard her later at lunch saying she sent the message, and laughed with her friends about it. FML

#619804
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58984) - you deserved it (9310)

On 03/26/2009 at 10:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that driving five miles an hour under the posted speed limit is "suspicious" and cause for a field sobriety test, breathalyzer, having your car searched and being handcuffed on the side of the road. FML

#619035
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73937) - you deserved it (11090)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10810) - you deserved it (109337)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15964) - you deserved it (70464)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got home to find my mom sitting in the kitchen reading the mail. I saw an empty bottle of Absolut peach vodka on the counter. Surprised, I picked it up and said " wow, who drinks this?". Her reply was "Why don't you tell me, i found it in your room." FML

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up that she would take me to get birthcontrol. Wanting birthcontrol, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I am not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML

#602653
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59874) - you deserved it (25926)

On 03/25/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

#600956
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23021) - you deserved it (115714)

On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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