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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my younger brother watched an old music video of The Who, who are know for smashing up their guitars and such. He decided it would be cool to try it with mine. That guitar was worth over $3000. FML

#894121
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78461) - you deserved it (4105)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:43pm - misc - by FML4evs (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a professional baseball game. In the 5th inning, our row was chosen for a random giveaway where everyone sitting in the row recieved free roundtrip airline tickets to New York City. While this was going on, I was up, getting a pretzel. FML

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fund raiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in 4 weeks, she said "Oh I can't wait!". Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!". FML

#891660
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10393) - you deserved it (61449)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by phatkroger10 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML

#889567
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49502) - you deserved it (25108)

On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML

#888437
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10543) - you deserved it (64945)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

#886706
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60691) - you deserved it (3024)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML

#884273
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61642) - you deserved it (4017)

On 04/09/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by sheryl_m (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML

#883933
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48250) - you deserved it (4211)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by luh8r (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML

#883158
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75762) - you deserved it (2721)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:33am - misc - by BracesSuck (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was out shopping for bras. While in one store, I couldn't seem to find any in my size. When I asked an employee for help, they took one look at my chest and said "Mabye you should try our girls section, we have a lot of training bras." I'm 25. FML

#882840
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52855) - you deserved it (4452)

On 04/09/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by blahhhh (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

#882663
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50610) - you deserved it (10456)

On 04/09/2009 at 5:16am - misc - by atang (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full" He's the owner of the shop. FML

#883621
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10501) - you deserved it (69453)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:40am - misc - by oopsiecoffee (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my step-mother threw a surprise party on my acceptance to college. People kept telling me how delightfully shocked and happy they are for me. "UPenn" was written everywhere, when I really got into Penn State. Everyone thinks I'm going to an Ivy League. FML

#881637
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51312) - you deserved it (4608)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by LindsayK (woman) - United States (California)



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Friday 17 October 2014

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