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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML

#141258
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34878) - you deserved it (8167)

On 02/26/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by MadameM (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my crushes Mardi Gras party. He was handing out beads to all the girls at the party that flashed him. When he came around to me he stopped and said "I will give you these beads NOT to flash me." FML

#138466
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48466) - you deserved it (3925)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by MADfml - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML

#137765
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40919) - you deserved it (4773)

On 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Jello (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, we finally got a digital projector so our theater can show 3D movies. Our first movie is The Jonas Brothers Concert. FML

#137064
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63234) - you deserved it (8255)

On 02/25/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was on a subway with my boyfriend and it was stopping so I grabbed the pole for support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was my boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed and tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at my boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML

#135942
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7421) - you deserved it (30992)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:56pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to try and call into a local radio station to try and win concert tickets for one of my favorite bands. I called in and was actually the winning number. When asked my name I answered quickly, but all I heard was "Hello? Hello?" Then they hung up. My cell phone was on mute. FML

#135843
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48422) - you deserved it (14049)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by pk24 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML

#135663
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (33393)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came back from college and visited my parents house. There was a new family portrait hung over the mantel of my parents and 2 sisters. My mom had always wanted one but always postponed it. It was dated the day after I left for college. FML

#134893
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50883) - you deserved it (1956)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by xoothc08 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML

#134892
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41682) - you deserved it (2813)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I like told me in casual conversation that I shouldn't get mad at him if he makes out with other girls at the bar, he only does it when he's drunk, that he doesn't really like them. We've been sleeping together for a week now. He met me at the bar. FML

#134877
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16120) - you deserved it (25094)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home to tell my parents about my new nose job I got about a month ago. My mom always told me I should get one, so I didn't tell her right away to see if she would notice. I was home for about 20 minutes before she asked me, "so when are you getting that nose job?" FML

#134540
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37426) - you deserved it (5590)

On 02/25/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

#133313
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (38402)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, in art class we finally had the critique for the self portraits we've been working on for a month. We critique a few and come to mine. Everyone is silent. Finally, one girl says "I'm just going to be blunt. It doesn't look like you. You're not that pretty." Everyone nods. FML

#132596
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57273) - you deserved it (4708)

On 02/25/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by mylifeeee - United States (Virginia)



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