Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my friend drove me me to catch the 8 pm train. Running late, we screeched into the parking lot at 7:57, stopped the car in a 'no stop' zone. I said goodbye to my friend, sprinted to my train and barely made it. Then, with the train in motion, I noticed my friend's car keys in my hand. FML

Today, I had a playing test in orchestra, which I've pracriced over 30 hours for. After I played my part, which I thought I did very well, my teacher asked how much I had practice. Trying to show off, I said "Oh, just 30 minutes." My teacher said "It shows, that was terrible." She was serious. FML

#982369
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17074) - you deserved it (52954)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was carrying some luggage downstairs to put in my car to head back to college. My brother told me my shoes were untied. He said he would tie them for me as I was carrying luggage. I fell down the stairs because he thought it would be funny to tie them together. FML

#979706
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46048) - you deserved it (9943)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees and her cruise ship fee. FML

#976819
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (184487) - you deserved it (12736)

On 04/14/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, a cute boy told me I looked like a celebrity. Flattered, I asked who I resembled. He responded by saying that I looked exactly like Ugly Betty. He was serious. FML

#973990
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54404) - you deserved it (5111)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by wishbone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

#973952
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30787) - you deserved it (50569)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by blehh (man) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

#972350
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20568) - you deserved it (55852)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:12pm - misc - by getslostinherownhouse (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I stumbled upon my boyfriend's Facebook. His second Facebook. On which I also stumbled upon his second girlfriend. FML

Today, I took my driving test. Completing the test, we returned and parked at the testing facility. As my tester was complimenting me, I leaned down to wind my window up, catching my long hair in the window. Frantically thrashing, I put the car in drive and floored it into a concrete wall. FML

#969967
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21152) - you deserved it (54300)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

#969770
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56935) - you deserved it (13014)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by chriss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51449) - you deserved it (18162)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

#966838
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17709) - you deserved it (85679)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by seussical65 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

#964759
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64450) - you deserved it (6829)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: