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Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML

#1021552
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (118189)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my family and I ran into an older man my parents knew. He continually asked me questions like do you play football, have you started shaving yet, etc. I thought he was joking. He told my parents I had grown into quite a young man. I am a girl and he wasn't joking. FML

#1019315
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69606) - you deserved it (4279)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by yellow_sunflowers101 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15006) - you deserved it (126025)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML

#1017007
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19750) - you deserved it (53530)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by xnickx (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

#1012847
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13034) - you deserved it (74394)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by filipinoclari808 (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

#1010714
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25123) - you deserved it (140015)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML

#1010703
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9432) - you deserved it (61187)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by imnotcool (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went shopping with my friend. The store was having a special where if you spend over $75 you receive a free T-shirt. I paid for my items and my total was over $75. The salesman didn't hand me a shirt so I asked him for one. He looks at me and says "I'm sorry, we only have Mediums." FML

#1008885
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55104) - you deserved it (6706)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by arrogantlondon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a panic attack so I called my parents. My brother answered to say my parents couldn't come to the phone because they were watching 24. Its ten o'clock and 24 is not on now. They were watching 24 on TiVo and couldn't pause it to come to the phone. FML

#1006191
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50864) - you deserved it (4770)

On 04/15/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by happyharriet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML

#1001341
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9401) - you deserved it (83132)

On 04/15/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by ananomoose - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was wearing a new 500 dollar dress on a crowded train. I looked great and I could feel the eyes on me. A cute guy then offered me his seat, only boosting my confidence more until he said "for you and the baby," pointing at a bump in my dress. I'm not pregnant and wasted 500 dollars. FML

#994707
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50048) - you deserved it (25911)

On 04/15/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by notpreggers - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

#993932
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60733) - you deserved it (5726)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I dont pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well technically my fiancée." FML

#992330
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71224) - you deserved it (12794)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by oops123 - United States (Missouri)



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