Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

by hungry / 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

by chee / 02/11/2009 at 6:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom and I were looking at pictures from the beach. She goes, "That is a REALLY ugly picture of Michelle" (my cousin). The picture was of me. FML

by bm / 02/11/2009 at 2:57pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my entire family sat down in the living room to watch the video I recorded of my sister's graduation from college. I never pressed record. FML

by red button / 02/11/2009 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

by Distressed / 02/11/2009 at 10:51am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

by Chicketi / 02/11/2009 at 9:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML

by da man / 02/11/2009 at 6:38am / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

by J / 02/11/2009 at 2:14am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

by tylerlove361 / 02/11/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

by Noname / 02/10/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

by herpderp / 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister teased me about being a mistake baby. When I told my mom what my sister said, her response was "I still love you anyway". FML

by melissa / 02/10/2009 at 6:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous