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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

#910687
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31132) - you deserved it (58701)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

#910360
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57874) - you deserved it (4550)

On 04/11/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my friend and I were driving to Florida from Michigan. While going through Ohio my car hydroplaned over a puddle on the highway. I ended up hitting the median and my car got wrecked. Not only am I stuck in Ohio with a car that wont work, I got a ticket for $300 for hitting Ohio property. FML

#909253
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40628) - you deserved it (5829)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by emie0209 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

#908452
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51992) - you deserved it (3276)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML

#907713
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42580) - you deserved it (5689)

On 04/10/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by bastardddd (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML

#907483
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73871) - you deserved it (3479)

On 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by JeezyCherieze (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML

#904638
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68612) - you deserved it (4242)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by yum. - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

#903514
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16184) - you deserved it (44835)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML

#902555
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48645) - you deserved it (2765)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by ellarose - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

#901011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63109) - you deserved it (3088)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML

#900061
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10113) - you deserved it (52139)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music cd he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok, but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML

#899489
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23680) - you deserved it (38779)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Jay (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

#898279
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7715) - you deserved it (73512)

On 04/10/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by blah (man) - United States (Idaho)



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