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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

#222376
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19706) - you deserved it (42908)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42914) - you deserved it (9377)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43676) - you deserved it (23986)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. 30 minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

#220421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44209) - you deserved it (18132)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by ohboy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML

#219438
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5450) - you deserved it (56631)

On 03/05/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by anashaalmajiid (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML

#218369
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18561) - you deserved it (55819)

On 03/05/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by cane - United States (North Carolina)

Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML

#218280
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59708) - you deserved it (4041)

On 03/05/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by failout (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (451932) - you deserved it (32014)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

#216994
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46556) - you deserved it (2480)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my birthday. I set up a dinner party for 20 of my closest friends. I arrived at the restaurant, fully dressed and everything. When I got there, I thought everyone was ready to surprise me, but instead, nobody showed up. FML

#214993
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85726) - you deserved it (5357)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:24am - misc - by STUPID BIRTHDAY (man) - United States

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost a year because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because I'm "overweight," even though I only weigh 130 pounds. Afterward I went to my friend's house and sat in an old wooden chair. It broke into pieces as soon as I sat down. FML

#214714
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78698) - you deserved it (8212)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by saltinawound (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I passed by a small shop and decided to go in to look at the jeans. Before I could even step in, the shop owner told me expressionlessly, "All the sizes here are too small for you". FML

#214067
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48726) - you deserved it (6096)

On 03/05/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Brrrb (woman) - Singapore

Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML

#213399
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34817) - you deserved it (10929)

On 03/04/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by a person - United States (California)



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