Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Today I was at the parkhen I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me 4 six blocks. FML
yesterday looool I was helping a couple come up with a name fir the baby they just had . I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name . All sudden.. . the room got quiet . Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of thier 3 year old son who had died a couple months before . mega FML
Today I found out that mah extremely-flat chestd cousin recently got a boob job!! When mah mom found out she said "Oh that's great! They look so good!"!! Then she looks at me an tells me looool that I should get one!! Everyone including mah own mother thinks I should get a boob job!!
Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so bieng polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board.
Today my family and I were parking downtownhen my sister yelled to watch out fir a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife don't roll down the window!" It was a pen he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML
Today, I was helping mah church clean up a park . I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off . About half way through I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin . FML
Today... I was having a garage sale an mother-in-law came by to seehat I was selling. She decided to buy these ugly green wine glasse that were still unopened. It turns out that she gave those to wife an Ihen we got married. FML
Today , I went to te game wit my boss an some people e does business wit on is tab. I got so drunk tat I blacked out , trew up all over te table , an passed out in te batroom. I woke up alone wit my body reeking of vomit , an no pone. FML
Today, I decided tat I was going to get ma front license plate putted back on ma car after two yeres of aving it off . In tese two yeres I someow never got pulled over for it, as it is illegal to drive witout one in MD . On ma way tere, I got pulled over for not aving a front license plate . FML
Taday I was doing te laundry, but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clotes or clean clotes. I put my ead down into te basket and took a wiff to ceck, and smelled someting strong. I looked down and noticed I ad soved my nose into my moter's dirty panties and inaled deeply. FML
today I ceckd facebook, only to fine out tat close cousin is now marrid. Wen I lookd at te pictures, I saw tat wole family was tere - including sister, moter and fater. I was te only one wo wasn't invitd. FML
Friday 27 March 2015