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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I couldn't answer almost any of the questions in the game "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" I'm a 40 year old man. FML

#232055
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13300) - you deserved it (45176)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by laywer_man (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. he told me he wanted to do it doggie style. I said okay, and as soon as i bent over on the bed, looked at me and said "let's do this with the lights off". FML

#232006
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43702) - you deserved it (11009)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by fjafja - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

#231694
155 comments

Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML

#228564
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10960) - you deserved it (29595)

On 03/06/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by 1 Giant Cupcake (man) - United States (California)

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

#227802
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18310) - you deserved it (44974)

On 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by jacks_smirking_revenge (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML

#227236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45890) - you deserved it (2474)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my four best friends are going to Florida for spring break without me. When asked why I was not invited to go with them the answer I received was, "we don't think you would look very good in a bathing suit, and we want to be able to pick up cute guys on the beach." FML

#226392
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59954) - you deserved it (5459)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

#225993
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12807) - you deserved it (40906)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by thebickster (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#224033
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43435) - you deserved it (5585)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by oconron (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

#222376
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19706) - you deserved it (42905)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42909) - you deserved it (9376)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43674) - you deserved it (23986)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. 30 minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

#220421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44209) - you deserved it (18131)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by ohboy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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