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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was going over to my friends house for dinner, (it was my birthday) when I walked in everyone yelled surprise and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me she said "wrong person guys, turn off the lights". FML

#240271
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48760) - you deserved it (2179)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by PmS (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was driving on the freeway in the back seat of my friends car. I looked over to the left and was greeted by a van full of adolescent boys waving and making the "call me" hand gesture. I then happened to looked down and realized that my right boob was completely out of my top. FML

#240249
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14185) - you deserved it (45314)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

#238786
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51514) - you deserved it (3631)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML

#238492
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24474) - you deserved it (51018)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML

#234874
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53288) - you deserved it (8485)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by bu09 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91701) - you deserved it (17806)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

#233851
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13001) - you deserved it (61493)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

#233704
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16665) - you deserved it (30089)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:16pm - misc - by Triple F (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

#233372
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60603) - you deserved it (15313)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, my physics teacher asked who had implants. I raised my hand. Then he asked me to show him the implants. Shocked at his request I called him a perv. I later discovered he meant dental implants as he was teaching x rays not breast implants. FML

#232961
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11016) - you deserved it (105224)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by Noname - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML

#232729
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (154657) - you deserved it (9282)

On 03/07/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by Pissed Off (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my name was called during an assembly because I won some sort of prize. Everyone booed. FML

#232169
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64943) - you deserved it (5817)

On 03/07/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by ladeda (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I couldn't answer almost any of the questions in the game "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" I'm a 40 year old man. FML

#232055
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13297) - you deserved it (45175)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by laywer_man (man) - United States (Florida)



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