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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was in my Cosmetic Application class, and we were about to apply foundation to our models. I walk over to my friend and say "Wow, that foundation is really orange and blotchy." Then the model turns to me and says "Actually, we haven't started yet... that's just my skin." FML

#2073972
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13817) - you deserved it (53828)

On 05/19/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving in my very own car that I bought and paid for myself, when I stopped at a stop light. Then I noticed the truck in front of me turn on his reverse lights. I honked desperately. He hits me, looks out the window and says "I see no damage" and drives away. FML

#2072486
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55983) - you deserved it (3220)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML

#2069131
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18153) - you deserved it (48227)

On 05/19/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML

#2065016
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13867) - you deserved it (39594)

On 05/18/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by lulabell (woman) - United States

Today, I'm on vacation. I spent $4000 to surprise my boyfriend on a trip to Hawaii. We have been together over a year. Turns out, he hates the outdoors. He's mad at me for bringing him here and is upset at everything. He's in the room reading, I'm at the bar drinking $10 Mai Tai's. FML

#2062305
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50389) - you deserved it (15621)

On 05/18/2009 at 9:11pm - misc - by Fubar0906 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71452) - you deserved it (3164)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

#2057571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42677) - you deserved it (3108)

On 05/18/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by trgtyo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML

#2050004
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38284) - you deserved it (24611)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by Posty (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

#2049243
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37876) - you deserved it (18013)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by poop (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went onto my band's MySpace just to check if we had any new comments or anything like that and I noticed that I was listed as a past member. Nobody ever told me I was replaced. FML

#2048727
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56314) - you deserved it (4224)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by BassGuy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was planning on meeting my friend at the mall. She came late, and I was in the dressing room trying on a few things. When I came out to meet her, she looked at me oddly and said, "You shouldn't buy that, it looks terrible on you." Those were the clothes I came in. FML

#2047113
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46209) - you deserved it (4897)

On 05/18/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

#2042132
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37575) - you deserved it (21778)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16223) - you deserved it (52828)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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