Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

#6014859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23390) - you deserved it (9538)

On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while filling out some medical forms, I was asked for an emergency contact. I realized I didn't have anyone who would actually care enough to be my contact. FML

#6009971
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36511) - you deserved it (3213)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:43pm - misc - by meagainsttheworld (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

#6008433
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36913) - you deserved it (4075)

On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I failed an oral speech because "I didn't look up once." The problem was, every time I looked up, my teacher looked down. Every time I looked down, she looked up. FML

#6007391
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36892) - you deserved it (6238)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by oralMistake - United States (Maryland)

Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML

#6007268
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34559) - you deserved it (5141)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by ohhhgross (woman) - Singapore

Today, I witnessed a homeless man fall off of his bike and land face first onto the pavement. Bleeding and shivering in the 40 degree weather, I gave him the coat off of my back. He got up like nothing happened and sprinted away with it. Oh yeah, my wallet was in the inside pocket. FML

#6005073
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24699) - you deserved it (32536)

On 10/26/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

#6003671
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33053) - you deserved it (2553)

On 10/26/2009 at 6:15am - misc - by Roida (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

#6002557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11084) - you deserved it (41002)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

#6002537
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35217) - you deserved it (2774)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Jack - United States (Missouri)

Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some losers car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML

#5999708
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32082) - you deserved it (2902)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by Jo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML

#5996462
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38265) - you deserved it (4802)

On 10/25/2009 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

#5991629
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41469) - you deserved it (10712)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

#5991495
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34518) - you deserved it (3967)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)



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