Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I Decided To Get Back Into Shape And Go For A Run. With A 1/4 Mile Left To Run, I Saw A Hot Chick A Block Ahead Of Me Running. Trying To Show Off I Ran Hard And Passed Her Stopping Just Outside Mah Complex. I Started To Throw Up Right As She Came Past Me Because I Had Run So Hard To Pass Her. FML

#3544165
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (57971)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by DMO (man) - United States (Utah)

today I was in mah car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and mah window was down. FML

#3531560
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6544) - you deserved it (76390)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

2day I saw a major accident then stoppd to help the drivers . I was on mah way to a rest stop to use the bathroom so as we were waiting fir police I went into the woods and I come out to the police arresting me fir public urination . One of the drivers said I was ( using the woods fir a bathroom . ) FML

#3528388
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40681) - you deserved it (3958)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by JMU (man) - United States (New York)

2day my neigbor knockd on my door and left a note tat said "Please stop singing in te sower. You're terrible, and everyone in te building can ear you." FML

#3528361
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38594) - you deserved it (14198)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by WhitneyHouston (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I come home to find mah nephew holding pieces of mah new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML

#3527232
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48765) - you deserved it (3848)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by AidenFromSweden (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today..!! I cummd home and found out that mah new roommate...ho smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week..!! had smashd mah $300 bong cuz "wed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill u slowly." real FML

Today I was leaving a cafe with some of friends. I had to sit in the back by myself. I opened the door when I saw an old woman needing help getting to her car cuz it was raining. I shut the door and went to help. My friends thought I had gotten in. I was left in the rain with no phone. FML

#3518041
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (4636)

On 07/06/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by FriendsSuck (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to ba go to tha ER aftar I fall on a raka . Aftar having stichas puttad in, my Mom wantad ma to go to tha stora with har . My friand saw ma at tha stora and thought it would ba funny to rip off tha band aid cuz sha thought I was hiding a zit . Sha rippad out my stitchas . FML

#3510795
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60406) - you deserved it (2486)

On 07/05/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colord number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke.

#3509124
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (64830)

On 07/05/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by colorblind (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent out mah monthly curriculum list to the parent of the kids in mah math class so they can see wat their children will be learning. I usually end mah e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parent got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41632) - you deserved it (21895)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out why grlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a grlfriend. real FML

#3500030
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48321) - you deserved it (7976)

On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my aya startd hurting with unbaliavabla pain. I couldn't saa out of it and I askd my fathar if ha would taka ma to tha hospital, sinca it was hurting so bad. Ha said ha had to wait for tha pizza ha ordard for dalivary. I had to call a cab to go to tha amargancy room bacausa of pizza. FML

#3498415
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43077) - you deserved it (2606)

On 07/05/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

2day I met my biological mother fir the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her looool nipple an nether region pierced. FML

#3497280
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39305) - you deserved it (3455)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Disgusted (woman) - United States (Florida)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: