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Today, I Decided To Get Back Into Shape And Go For A Run. With A 1/4 Mile Left To Run, I Saw A Hot Chick A Block Ahead Of Me Running. Trying To Show Off I Ran Hard And Passed Her Stopping Just Outside Mah Complex. I Started To Throw Up Right As She Came Past Me Because I Had Run So Hard To Pass Her. FML
today I was in mah car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and mah window was down. FML
2day I saw a major accident then stoppd to help the drivers . I was on mah way to a rest stop to use the bathroom so as we were waiting fir police I went into the woods and I come out to the police arresting me fir public urination . One of the drivers said I was ( using the woods fir a bathroom . ) FML
Today..!! I cummd home and found out that mah new roommate...ho smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week..!! had smashd mah $300 bong cuz "wed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill u slowly." real FML
Today I was leaving a cafe with some of friends. I had to sit in the back by myself. I opened the door when I saw an old woman needing help getting to her car cuz it was raining. I shut the door and went to help. My friends thought I had gotten in. I was left in the rain with no phone. FML
Today, I had to ba go to tha ER aftar I fall on a raka . Aftar having stichas puttad in, my Mom wantad ma to go to tha stora with har . My friand saw ma at tha stora and thought it would ba funny to rip off tha band aid cuz sha thought I was hiding a zit . Sha rippad out my stitchas . FML
Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colord number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke.
Today, I sent out mah monthly curriculum list to the parent of the kids in mah math class so they can see wat their children will be learning. I usually end mah e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parent got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML
Today, my aya startd hurting with unbaliavabla pain. I couldn't saa out of it and I askd my fathar if ha would taka ma to tha hospital, sinca it was hurting so bad. Ha said ha had to wait for tha pizza ha ordard for dalivary. I had to call a cab to go to tha amargancy room bacausa of pizza. FML
Friday 27 March 2015