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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I flew from Chicago to San Francisco to get some of my stuff out of a storage unit. I left the keys for the padlock at home. FML

#2530639
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (48324)

On 06/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by Tom (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

#2525749
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46284) - you deserved it (21117)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by holliefall (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

#2525381
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43371) - you deserved it (3683)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by sierraisfucked (woman) - United States

Today, at an elementary school a girl showed me her grandma's obituary in the paper and started crying. To stop her from crying I made things out of the rest of the paper, later she asked me where her grandma's obituary was. I accidentally made it into a hat, with lots of tape. FML

#2509070
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9082) - you deserved it (47498)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by thechad_144 - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36146) - you deserved it (61400)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working as a waitress at this pub. It was dead. After 4 hours I had only made 5$ in tips. A friendly couple came in and complimented EVERYTHING down to the freshness of the lemons in their tea. The bill came to $50. They left me a $5 gift card to starbucks. I don't drink coffee. FML

#2501090
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43567) - you deserved it (6934)

On 06/01/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Kitty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding a longboard down a hill and I fell off. I was all scraped up so I made sure to clean my wounds and put bandages on them. Turns out I'm allergic to the glue on the bandages and I have itchy hives all over and around my open wounds. FML

#2495285
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44403) - you deserved it (4847)

On 06/01/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Boarder - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

#2492711
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65035) - you deserved it (4771)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

#2492585
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48843) - you deserved it (7369)

On 06/01/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by crazyjohnny - United States (California)

Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML

#2490084
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9089) - you deserved it (49305)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by PulledOver (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39591) - you deserved it (35940)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to put my laptop on a desk when I got a text message. I was startled by my ringtone and dropped my laptop on the ground. It now has dent marks on the bottom. The text message was from an annoying friend simply saying "I'm eating a hot dog." FML

#2473573
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41408) - you deserved it (12799)

On 05/31/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

#2464831
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62417) - you deserved it (9607)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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