Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

#1766885
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7800) - you deserved it (76189)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by t-dawg (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

#1763886
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55576) - you deserved it (3060)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

#1753127
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57671) - you deserved it (9514)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by man (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

#1752202
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44169) - you deserved it (17653)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by ydahs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

#1751733
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52228) - you deserved it (12125)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:07pm - misc - by gangstalicious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you assume that the crunchy bits in a bag of crisps are in fact crisps, you will occasionally find that your assumptions are wrong. Beetles just don't have the same appeal. FML

#1749870
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41839) - you deserved it (5252)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137772) - you deserved it (14060)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML

#1749073
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49576) - you deserved it (2627)

On 05/08/2009 at 2:14pm - misc - by Aisu (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

#1746299
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51896) - you deserved it (5154)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by Wally (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in my class I was nominated for the guy with the worst hairdo. I don't know what is worse, the fact that I was nominated or the fact that I felt let down when I did not win. FML

#1744695
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (7109)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:20am - misc - by GK (man) - Australia

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how my butt looked in my jeans, checked up my nose and fixed my bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. FML

#1741701
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18100) - you deserved it (42349)

On 05/08/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by cammy123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was running on a track above a basketball court. I noticed several cute guys playing a pick-up game, so I tried to run my hardest. Not paying attention, I didn't hear when they warned me about the ball flying towards me. It hit me in the head, I then ran into a wall and face-planted. FML

#1739978
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17272) - you deserved it (36351)

On 05/08/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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