Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

#1869680
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6621) - you deserved it (76244)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave a big presentation at work. The manager decided to video tape it. I went through my presentation with ease and was confident I did a good job. My confidence was then lowered after watching the tape. Apparently, my boobs are much more interesting than what I had to say. FML

#1869352
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51286) - you deserved it (6467)

On 05/12/2009 at 9:41am - misc - by Viridian - United States

Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML

#1869092
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52367) - you deserved it (3975)

On 05/12/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by freckle82 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

#1866798
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45890) - you deserved it (11393)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Biggie (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

#1864532
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56045) - you deserved it (2724)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

#1862791
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77050) - you deserved it (6048)

On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)

Today, I installed high performance brakes on my car after fearing that my old brake system was to weak and I could get into a crash. On the test drive a car in front of me stopped short. My new brakes worked, the ones on the car behind me didn't. I now have whiplash and a totalled car. FML

#1861199
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46177) - you deserved it (2959)

On 05/11/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Lex (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

#1845741
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84690) - you deserved it (9970)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by bezoar10 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML

#1845735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20254) - you deserved it (39014)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by samantha246 - United States (New York)

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

#1845707
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54348) - you deserved it (27559)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Wormy - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped and came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML

#1842367
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47034) - you deserved it (3892)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

#1837844
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91878) - you deserved it (4992)

On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: