Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44360) - you deserved it (15348)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I'd had a quarter in my pocket. I find no change in my pocket once I get to the register, so I pull out my credit card. The cashier laughs a few seconds later. My card was declined for a piece of gum. FML

#3327464
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34653) - you deserved it (14290)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by DeniedAgain (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the cable repairman came to fix my cable which has never worked well. The entire time he was talking about how much extra money he got the "fat bitch who moved here 6 months ago" to pay for her cable. I moved in 6 months ago. I was pregnant. FML

#3319716
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51695) - you deserved it (2974)

On 06/28/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by fmerunning (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML

#3316685
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (4912)

On 06/28/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by sk8rgurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I were in her moms car talking about which job was harder: actor or artist. I said, "Art is easy. You just scribble on a piece of paper and call it abstract art." Her mom squinted at me in the rearview mirror and my friend stopped talking. Then she said, "My mom is an artist." FML

#3314911
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12647) - you deserved it (46179)

On 06/28/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by URGH (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to go get a new ID because my wallet was stolen, which had my social security card in it as well. I found out that to get your ID you have to have your social security card, and to get your social security card, you need your ID. FML

#3313265
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52292) - you deserved it (8008)

On 06/28/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by angry (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

#3308517
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23851) - you deserved it (44865)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before but they usually left early. I heard someone in the kitchen and thinking it was my brother, I said "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma responds, "No we're not." FML

#3307741
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6557) - you deserved it (66833)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I finally got my yearbook for senior year in high school. I started what everyone does, which is count how many times I appear in the yearbook. I stopped when I found a prominent photo of me, picking my nose in class. FML

#3305444
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16294) - you deserved it (46155)

On 06/28/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

#3302714
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91469) - you deserved it (6512)

On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands

Today, I took a shower after I finished typing an important essay I've been working on for days. My computer illiterate mum shut the computer down when I was gone, without saving a thing. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for "wasting electricity". FML

#3299965
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27046) - you deserved it (59003)

On 06/28/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by lifedamntough (woman) - Singapore

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11241) - you deserved it (50246)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I left my brand new iPod Touch outside. There had been a drought for the past 3 weeks. Not anymore. FML

#3292692
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11336) - you deserved it (62872)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: