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Man or woman?

Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

#1241991
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32346) - you deserved it (4026)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:46pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

#1225689
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65106) - you deserved it (8096)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML

#1223520
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9869) - you deserved it (65118)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by derranged - China (Tianjin)

Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML

#1221621
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22312) - you deserved it (33765)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

#1219528
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65975) - you deserved it (5661)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML

#1218205
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (6466)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Hong Kong

Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML

#1217695
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45419) - you deserved it (6461)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:20am - misc - by slowrunner (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML

#1215517
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42723) - you deserved it (6324)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by DonMare (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML

#1215114
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20527) - you deserved it (40870)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by fastfingers409 - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

#1214508
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69813) - you deserved it (3963)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by RockedSystem - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

#1214403
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57724) - you deserved it (5972)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52570) - you deserved it (4874)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)



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