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Man or woman?

Today, I finally got my nametag. I had been using other people's names like Maria and Caie for a week, so I was happy to be called my own name. I put it on and got to work. Ten minutes later, I was called into the office. I got laid off. I got to wear my nametag for 10 minutes. FML

#2733384
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44728) - you deserved it (3267)

On 06/08/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by nametag (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML

#2724554
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16343) - you deserved it (45684)

On 06/08/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if your going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML

#2719263
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6295) - you deserved it (92733)

On 06/08/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML

#2715007
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51993) - you deserved it (4659)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my friends house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldnt see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML

#2714754
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36673) - you deserved it (6410)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

#2711154
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29184) - you deserved it (38692)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:54am - misc - by KBO (woman) - Australia

Today, I locked myself out of my truck for the first time. While trying to unlock it, it started to rain. After half an hour, I successfully unlocked the door and then drove over my book bag, which I had placed underneath the car to keep it out of the rain. FML

#2697154
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33062) - you deserved it (13115)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by no - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25246) - you deserved it (55121)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said "is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" and when I answered "yes," he turned and walked out of the room. FML

#2693360
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52021) - you deserved it (6055)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by szinna - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was sitting in class when the most popular girl in my grade came up to me holding birthday invitation cards. I've never been invited to a birthday party, so I was so excited when she handed me a card only to hear her say, "Mary is on your bus, will you give this to her?" FML

#2685783
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60664) - you deserved it (4169)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by loner (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

#2684779
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55200) - you deserved it (6758)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:23am - misc - by apparentlyunattractive (woman) - United States

Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML

#2674249
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54459) - you deserved it (9537)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by fatty - United States (North Carolina)



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