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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I told my dad that I have a very serious drinking problem and that I need to go to rehab because I can't stop on my own. He told me that I just need to make new friends and suggested I join a sorority. FML

#5445313
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33869) - you deserved it (6119)

On 09/24/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML

#5444329
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33501) - you deserved it (3667)

On 09/24/2009 at 7:25am - misc - by rubber_duckie177 (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was going shopping with a friend. I got up to get off the train and landed on my ass. Not only had I walked into the metal bar, I'd broken my $800 glasses, and the train doors had closed, with my friend on the other side of the doors. FML

#5444000
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28751) - you deserved it (9977)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by b. - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64212) - you deserved it (2692)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML

#5441179
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30804) - you deserved it (1962)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by Davios (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to hand write a 10 page essay for one of my classes. When I turned it in I got an automatic zero. It was written in blue. Not black. FML

#5436194
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44391) - you deserved it (11754)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:18pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

#5431365
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62406) - you deserved it (3174)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought a fish bowl and a fish for $15. I brought him home and sat him on my desk. Everything was going well until the shelf gave out and his bowl slid off of the shelf... onto my $2,000 computer. The computer is fried and is not covered by the insurance, the fish is fine. FML

#5430924
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34467) - you deserved it (10145)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Bubba (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my plates on my car were stolen. On the way to the police station to file a police report I was pulled over. They impounded my car for driving without a license plate. FML

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16689) - you deserved it (39345)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my husband blew all the candles on his birthday cake while I was taking a photo in front of him. I will probably never use cocoa powder to decorate a birthday cake anymore. FML

#5424868
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9649) - you deserved it (36992)

On 09/23/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I realized that my coach doesn't close the door and the blinds to perform half-naked body checks (to make sure his team is in shape) on anyone else but me. FML

#5424616
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46336) - you deserved it (4499)

On 09/23/2009 at 7:28am - misc - by MaKaDa - United States (Texas)

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

#5424081
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15050) - you deserved it (40163)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom



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