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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was driving in my very own car that I bought and paid for myself, when I stopped at a stop light. Then I noticed the truck in front of me turn on his reverse lights. I honked desperately. He hits me, looks out the window and says "I see no damage" and drives away. FML

#2072486
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55522) - you deserved it (3188)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML

#2069131
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18078) - you deserved it (48018)

On 05/19/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML

#2065016
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13346) - you deserved it (38778)

On 05/18/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by lulabell (woman) - United States

Today, I'm on vacation. I spent $4000 to surprise my boyfriend on a trip to Hawaii. We have been together over a year. Turns out, he hates the outdoors. He's mad at me for bringing him here and is upset at everything. He's in the room reading, I'm at the bar drinking $10 Mai Tai's. FML

#2062305
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50178) - you deserved it (15560)

On 05/18/2009 at 9:11pm - misc - by Fubar0906 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70730) - you deserved it (3127)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

#2057571
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41931) - you deserved it (3049)

On 05/18/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by trgtyo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML

#2050004
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (24297)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by Posty (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

#2049243
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37233) - you deserved it (17798)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by poop (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went onto my band's MySpace just to check if we had any new comments or anything like that and I noticed that I was listed as a past member. Nobody ever told me I was replaced. FML

#2048727
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56066) - you deserved it (4210)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by BassGuy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was planning on meeting my friend at the mall. She came late, and I was in the dressing room trying on a few things. When I came out to meet her, she looked at me oddly and said, "You shouldn't buy that, it looks terrible on you." Those were the clothes I came in. FML

#2047113
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44578) - you deserved it (4742)

On 05/18/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

#2042132
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37372) - you deserved it (21708)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15398) - you deserved it (51650)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. As part of my presents, my parents gave me prepaid debit card. When I got home, I looked at it again and realized it's the debit card you get from selling back books to our university bookstore. I bought my own books this year. They gave me my own refund. FML

#2039124
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41340) - you deserved it (2421)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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