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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67372) - you deserved it (3210)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out on facebook that my supposed best friend bought a concert ticket to a show. The concert ticket was the exact same amount as the plane ticket she told me she couldn't afford to come see me. FML

#4644614
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36777) - you deserved it (5719)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by lakatkat - United States (California)

Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML

#4632889
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8877) - you deserved it (66042)

On 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by Laundrylady (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117093) - you deserved it (8829)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from. The woman stared at me for a while. Then her daughter told me that the reason her mother talked like that was because she had a stroke a few months ago. FML

#4627315
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47980) - you deserved it (9418)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by anonymus (man) - United States

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

#4624191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45074) - you deserved it (16134)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML

#4622066
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10616) - you deserved it (89474)

On 08/18/2009 at 4:04am - misc - by probably_the_ex_now (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

#4618484
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61456) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)

Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

#4617749
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49409) - you deserved it (3481)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by thedd (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

#4617560
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15659) - you deserved it (48761)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

#4606857
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37045) - you deserved it (20866)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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