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Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if your going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML

#2719263
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6281) - you deserved it (92620)

On 06/08/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML

#2715007
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51943) - you deserved it (4654)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my friends house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldnt see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML

#2714754
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36628) - you deserved it (6405)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

#2711154
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (38651)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:54am - misc - by KBO (woman) - Australia

Today, I locked myself out of my truck for the first time. While trying to unlock it, it started to rain. After half an hour, I successfully unlocked the door and then drove over my book bag, which I had placed underneath the car to keep it out of the rain. FML

#2697154
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33035) - you deserved it (13107)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by no - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25210) - you deserved it (55079)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said "is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" and when I answered "yes," he turned and walked out of the room. FML

#2693360
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51970) - you deserved it (6052)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by szinna - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was sitting in class when the most popular girl in my grade came up to me holding birthday invitation cards. I've never been invited to a birthday party, so I was so excited when she handed me a card only to hear her say, "Mary is on your bus, will you give this to her?" FML

#2685783
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60613) - you deserved it (4167)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by loner (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

#2684779
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54457) - you deserved it (6663)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:23am - misc - by apparentlyunattractive (woman) - United States

Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML

#2674249
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54416) - you deserved it (9534)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by fatty - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

#2660481
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55172) - you deserved it (12164)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart with my mom. As we pulled up to the cashier, I noticed it was a really hot girl from my school. Trying to be cool, I told my mom that I'll be paying for the purchases. My debit card was denied. My mom had to pay. FML

#2658962
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10447) - you deserved it (54570)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by Goki (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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