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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML

#6710041
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32224) - you deserved it (3097)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by surprise (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, is my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring it to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML

#6707872
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30736) - you deserved it (2787)

On 12/11/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my favourite shirt on the floor of my dorm's bathroom. Feeling too lazy to bend down, I used my feet to "flick" the shirt up. Apparently, some drunkard took a dump on the floor and used my shirt to cover it up. I now have shit all over my feet, hands and the wall in front of me. FML

Today, after five months of working overtime and doing my own repairs around the house, such as patching my own roof to save money, I walk into my home office. I find my $2500, week old, top of the line laptop won't turn on because it's drenched in water. Apparently there's a leak in the roof. FML

#6706236
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15992) - you deserved it (24061)

On 12/11/2009 at 6:11am - misc - by LostFocus - United States (California)

Today, my roommate came in slamming the front door. I guess he doesn't know that you can't throw hot water on frozen windows. He came up all pissed and called his insurance because he cracked the windshield. We have the same car, in the same exact color. Turns out he threw the water on mine. FML

#6705555
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34909) - you deserved it (2922)

On 12/11/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Sous_Chef (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told a customer at the drive-thru I couldn't hear him as he had his music blaring too loud. The customer then drove to the window and verbally abused me for listening to my iPod at work. My "iPod" is the headset we use to take orders at the drive-thru. FML

#6704507
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31320) - you deserved it (2373)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML

Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML

#6703564
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8716) - you deserved it (25489)

On 12/11/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a repairman woke me up so he could change the filter in my furnace. This would have been fine, except he didn't wake me up until he was already in my room, where I was sleeping naked. FML

#6701307
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28328) - you deserved it (4440)

On 12/10/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML

#6698211
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16308) - you deserved it (38398)

On 12/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I stepped out of a bar in order to make a phone call. While I was outside, the bouncers arrived and ropes were put up. They wouldn't let me back in, claiming I was too young and they hadn't seen me come out. I was celebrating my 26th birthday, the legal drinking age is 18. I also have a beard. FML

#6697068
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30195) - you deserved it (3039)

On 12/10/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by BabyBeardy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31837) - you deserved it (5227)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, we had our annual office Christmas party. The theme of the party was "Ugliest Sweater". The winner was a sweater that I have an exact replica of in my closet. It's my favorite 'special occasion', 'family portrait' and 'holiday' sweater. FML

#6695498
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24251) - you deserved it (12830)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by NotHauteCouture (woman) - United States



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