Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

#6725096
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9006) - you deserved it (35932)

On 12/12/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by Icci (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML

#6724461
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7604) - you deserved it (47509)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to perform with my Orchestra at an event. I hadn't eaten at all because I had to get my blood sugar tested. During the middle of a song I passed out. No one helped me and no one stopped playing "because the song wasn't over and they didn't want to ruin the performance." FML

#6724178
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29855) - you deserved it (5983)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

#6723813
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7367) - you deserved it (39874)

On 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML

#6722674
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34538) - you deserved it (6270)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by colorfulgina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

#6722392
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45153) - you deserved it (3897)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program which was shown at lunch today. I was being interviewed and at one point the reporter made me laugh. I have a goose laugh so everyone in the lunch room started laughing. Then they played it in slow motion. Twice. FML

#6722034
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29728) - you deserved it (4080)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:26pm - misc - by Goosey (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school saying "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits". FML

#6719670
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32621) - you deserved it (3408)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I was "letting myself go". When I told the little girl I babysit in the afternoons why I was so upset, she looked at me for a moment before saying, "Well, I definitely can't blame him." FML

#6716772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28891) - you deserved it (8085)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter for my Bio final at 8AM and drinking 6 sodas, 3 energy drinks, and coffee throughout the night, an hour into the exam, I had to go to the restroom, so I get permission and go. I'm 1 of 3 people. They later find a cheat sheet in the restroom. Now I'm a suspect. FML

#6716496
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (4131)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by fuckbio (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my little cousin's school to pick her up and it happened to be my old elementary school. I saw my old teacher and went up to say hi, and after a few minutes she goes "Aren't you the girl who's dad always came in drunk on parent's day?" Nice to know that's how I'm remembered. FML

#6714593
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29577) - you deserved it (2618)

On 12/11/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by Childhood (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

#6713073
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11603) - you deserved it (29559)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13836) - you deserved it (40210)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: