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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I bought a fish bowl and a fish for $15. I brought him home and sat him on my desk. Everything was going well until the shelf gave out and his bowl slid off of the shelf... onto my $2,000 computer. The computer is fried and is not covered by the insurance, the fish is fine. FML

#5430924
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34438) - you deserved it (10142)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Bubba (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my plates on my car were stolen. On the way to the police station to file a police report I was pulled over. They impounded my car for driving without a license plate. FML

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15849) - you deserved it (37947)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my husband blew all the candles on his birthday cake while I was taking a photo in front of him. I will probably never use cocoa powder to decorate a birthday cake anymore. FML

#5424868
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9539) - you deserved it (36789)

On 09/23/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I realized that my coach doesn't close the door and the blinds to perform half-naked body checks (to make sure his team is in shape) on anyone else but me. FML

#5424616
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43728) - you deserved it (4264)

On 09/23/2009 at 7:28am - misc - by MaKaDa - United States (Texas)

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

#5424081
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15042) - you deserved it (40156)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I came to a realization that the closest people to me in my life, the ones who are warm and welcoming, who're happy to see me, who honestly wanna know how I've been and how I feel, whose smiles make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, are the baristas at Starbucks, not my actual 'friends'. FML

#5423861
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34450) - you deserved it (5524)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was in a college band rehearsal, and I get a call saying "your car was just hit by a tree!" I said "yeah, right", and hung up on her. Minutes later, the band manager walks in and tells me that my car is totaled. I then went and stood in the rain watching a tree get cut off my car. FML

#5421005
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30209) - you deserved it (6044)

On 09/22/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

#5416857
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61137) - you deserved it (5307)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by carnivore (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to propose to my girlfriend on the Charles Bridge in Prague. A little boy thought it would be fun to chase a flock of pigeons towards me. I freaked out and dropped the 2 carat diamond ring. Into the river. FML

#5414131
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54338) - you deserved it (9739)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by sadguy (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, after months of enduring my neighbors relentlessly yapping schnauzer, Molly, I moved into a new building. I was greeted by my new neighbor and her yapping rat terrier, Molly. FML

#5413899
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37856) - you deserved it (3579)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by bellaellaella (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the dentist. I parked my car in what I thought was the dentist's car park. It was actually the car park for the business next door. I had to watch them clamp my car from the dentist's chair. FML

#5411274
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28836) - you deserved it (6331)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:20am - misc - by ohdamn (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

#5410681
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34263) - you deserved it (4997)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:36am - misc - by kimmybr (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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