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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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TODAY... I WAS AT A LOCAL CINESE RESTAURANT WIT TWO OF MY FRIENDS. WE WERE LAUGING YSTERICALLY WEN MY FRIEND TELLS ME TO STOP MAKING ER LAUG BECAUSE SE WAS GOING TO PUKE... NATURALLY I KEPT EGGING IT ON. SE PUKED ALL OVER TE TABLE AN I WAS LAUGING SO ARD TAT I PEED MY PANTS. FML

#4672894
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9820) - you deserved it (61730)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a completely drunk grl walked across te bar and punced me in te face because I was wereing te same dress as er, and er boyfriend said it looked better on me. Wile I was screaming at er fir being a stupid bitc, se puked all over me, wiped er mout and lauged before se passed out. FML

#4661982
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62534) - you deserved it (4335)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

today mah "best friend" invitd me to drink with her and a couple other friends!! She told me to "just bring a few bucks 4 beer"!! When I got there, no one else had brought money, including her!! They only invitd me cuz I'm the only one with a job!! FML

#4659447
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46125) - you deserved it (3935)

On 08/19/2009 at 4:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

2day my boyfriend was leaving fir work. From te oter room I eard im call out, "see u soon beautiful." Touced, I went to give im a parting kiss. He stopped me an said, "I was talking to te cat." FML

#4656654
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40177) - you deserved it (4242)

On 08/19/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by burned_away - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I Thought I Saw A Snakehile I Was Watering. I Got Mah Son To Check It Out An He Agreed Too. I Was Nervous So I Called Animal Control, An They Said It Would Cost $50 Just For Them To Come Out, I Agreed. It Ends Up I Paid $50 For Them To Pick Up An Old Diamond Weave Farmer's Hat. Mega FML

#4655713
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7730) - you deserved it (38310)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, My Band Played Its Frst Real Gig. It Was Going Well, And I, Te Vocalist, Tougt It Would Be A Good Idea To Stage Dive. I Underestimated Te Distance Between Te Stage And Te Crowd And Crased Into Te Floor. FML

#4652929
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8893) - you deserved it (53545)

On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46737) - you deserved it (4607)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Taday I trew a party wile my parents were gone. I forgot tat our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so wen people opened te door, it went off. I couldn't fine te number fir te alarm company, so te cops sowed up. Everyone started ceering cuz tey tougt tey were strippers. FML

#4646350
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11720) - you deserved it (50722)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - Sent from mobile version

Today, mah mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is mah dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. big fat FML

#4645462
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55651) - you deserved it (5009)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I was driving my little sister to school!! She really didn't wanna go an was throwing a tantrum in the car!! When we stopped at a red light , my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver!! She rolled down her window an screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by looool a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64880) - you deserved it (3025)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out on facebook that my supposd best friend bought a concert ticket to a show. The concert ticket was the exact same amount as the plane ticket she told me she couldn't afford to come see me. FML

#4644614
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36758) - you deserved it (5717)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by lakatkat - United States (California)

Today, I was at the laundromat doing mah clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak mah sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML

#4632889
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8873) - you deserved it (66024)

On 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by Laundrylady (woman) - United States (Georgia)

TODAY, I WAS AT MAH SCHOOL'S SPAGHETTI DINNER WITH MAH FAMILY. MY BROTHER SHOOK UP MAH MOM'S SODA, AS A PRANK. MY ENTIRE CLASS WITNESSED MAH MOM WAVING AROUND AN OVERFLOWING DIET COKEHILE MAH DAD YELLED, ( COME ON, PUTTED YOUR MOUTH ON IT! SUCK IT! SUCK IT, KATHY! )

#4630669
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116979) - you deserved it (8825)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States



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