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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went to the doctor to try and get answers about the numbness and tingling in my right leg. The Dr told me I was too fat for my pants, and I pinched a nerve. FML

#5604597
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12921) - you deserved it (37756)

On 10/02/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by apowell5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that "my school was too expensive and he couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii, apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

#5603956
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39871) - you deserved it (3189)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by ill (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML

#5602388
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6398) - you deserved it (33425)

On 10/02/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by abrazama (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. Via text. With the iPhone I got him for our anniversary. FML

#5601325
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35736) - you deserved it (3537)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by SezzyJ - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

#5601123
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34067) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as 'some weirdo had walked into her house.' I am that weirdo, she wasn't joking. FML

#5600250
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34238) - you deserved it (2565)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:46am - misc - by forgotten (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I picked my car up from the shop. After 5 minutes I noticed the oil and check engine light on. I pulled over, then the engine shut off completely. Turns out they forgot to put oil back in my car. I'll be needing a new engine. FML

#5599183
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36734) - you deserved it (2622)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by cartrouble (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

#5598991
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36883) - you deserved it (11230)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML

#5598199
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40144) - you deserved it (5869)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML

#5594172
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (2175)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by needs_another_loan (man) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

#5589145
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46825) - you deserved it (3502)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML

#5588493
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (21168)

On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

#5586348
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40830) - you deserved it (5206)

On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon



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