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Man or woman?

Today, I was out and was having a wonderful time. At exactly midnight, I get a call from my father. He's divorcing my mother. He's also going to Florida with his mistress for the weekend. If that wasn't the best news ever, he'd love if I found an apartment to live in ASAP. FML

#5862276
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30652) - you deserved it (1899)

On 10/17/2009 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my landlady decided to fix the leak in my room. Her solution was repainting the ceiling. Now not only is my room still wet but it now reeks of paint thinner. FML

#5860087
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22877) - you deserved it (1621)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that if you let your son install a new shower head, he won't tighten it properly. So when you turn the shower on, it will shoot out at rocket speed, hitting you in the face. Then when you grab the shower handle to prevent yourself falling backwards, you will just rip that out and hit your head again. FML

#5858229
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34645) - you deserved it (5009)

On 10/16/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by Ndanick1193 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML

#5857727
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36229) - you deserved it (7194)

On 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by SheWentCrayola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML

#5853420
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10454) - you deserved it (47420)

On 10/16/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by smarty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I wrote the most beautiful college application essay ever, ten minutes before the online deadline. Instead of clicking "submit", I clicked the button next to it that said "return". The entire essay vanished into internet wasteland. FML

#5853326
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20945) - you deserved it (42517)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML

#5850843
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11752) - you deserved it (26975)

On 10/16/2009 at 12:30pm - misc - by Sbfreak510 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went outside to enjoy the cool air without my glasses. I saw my neighbor doing the same, so I waved and said hi. When she didn't respond, I yelled and went back inside. It was only later when I went back out with my glasses on that I realized I was being ignored by a Halloween decoration. FML

#5849448
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9378) - you deserved it (31330)

On 10/16/2009 at 9:39am - misc - by Phazzer (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that my car alarm only goes off if the car is unlocked a bit forcibly. Doesn't make a sound when some prick breaks the window out in the middle of the night to steal my cd player. FML

#5848483
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (1909)

On 10/16/2009 at 5:23am - misc - by Hardsleeper - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

#5848296
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (2626)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my parking permit off my car to debate a ticket that I got for not having my permit displayed. Twenty minutes later, when I got back to my car, I had another ticket on my window for not having my parking permit displayed because I was using it to disprove the first ticket. FML

#5847972
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29264) - you deserved it (7651)

On 10/16/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Unlucky. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out to start my car to go to work. When it wouldn't start, I popped the hood to see what was wrong. Some kind individual took advantage of the fact that my window doesn't roll up, and stole my battery. FML

#5847643
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23921) - you deserved it (5947)

On 10/16/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by rugernut13 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my fiancé told my mom that she screwed me up. I now have to write an apologetic e-mail to her for something that I agree with, in order for her to stop calling me crying. FML

#5847291
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20998) - you deserved it (3272)

On 10/15/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by sighoutloud (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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