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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped and came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML

#1842367
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45380) - you deserved it (3737)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

#1837844
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88227) - you deserved it (4687)

On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had a hour long conversation with someone I apparently was friends with a few years ago. I couldn't remember who he was for the life of me, so I just played along. Finally, I told him I didn't remember him. He had the wrong number. I had a long conversation with a wrong number. FML

#1833844
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13423) - you deserved it (44962)

On 05/11/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by lostintellct (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

#1832318
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70483) - you deserved it (13281)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML

#1830985
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7122) - you deserved it (86208)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML

#1828109
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65255) - you deserved it (3482)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by newdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got stopped for shoplifting at a department store. They took me back to the security room and showed me the tapes. I was taking my own designer lipgloss that I had bought a month before out of my purse. FML

#1818447
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50782) - you deserved it (3444)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

#1814886
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58168) - you deserved it (3094)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

#1808488
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46201) - you deserved it (9695)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ya - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

#1807200
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71661) - you deserved it (11380)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got rear-ended at a stoplight by a woman who had been doing her make-up while driving. She didn't get out to see if I was okay until she had finished perfectly applying both lipliner and gloss. FML

#1806143
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47040) - you deserved it (1576)

On 05/10/2009 at 5:56am - misc - by disturbed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I treated myself to a spa day at home. First, I decided to do a hot oil treatment on my hair. I was leaning over the saucepan of oil on the stove when it flared up in my face. On the bright side, I no longer have to worry about plucking my eyebrows. FML

#1800001
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14715) - you deserved it (36595)

On 05/10/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by torchy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

#1798855
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42160) - you deserved it (2777)

On 05/10/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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