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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

#1866798
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40368) - you deserved it (9031)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Biggie (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

#1864532
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54291) - you deserved it (2593)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

#1862791
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71439) - you deserved it (5515)

On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)

Today, I installed high performance brakes on my car after fearing that my old brake system was to weak and I could get into a crash. On the test drive a car in front of me stopped short. My new brakes worked, the ones on the car behind me didn't. I now have whiplash and a totalled car. FML

#1861199
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42328) - you deserved it (2671)

On 05/11/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Lex (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

#1845741
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81794) - you deserved it (9611)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by bezoar10 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML

#1845735
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18135) - you deserved it (35759)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by samantha246 - United States (New York)

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

#1845707
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51575) - you deserved it (26193)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Wormy - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped and came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML

#1842367
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45385) - you deserved it (3737)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

#1837844
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88253) - you deserved it (4686)

On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had a hour long conversation with someone I apparently was friends with a few years ago. I couldn't remember who he was for the life of me, so I just played along. Finally, I told him I didn't remember him. He had the wrong number. I had a long conversation with a wrong number. FML

#1833844
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13426) - you deserved it (44973)

On 05/11/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by lostintellct (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

#1832318
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70499) - you deserved it (13284)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML

#1830985
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7124) - you deserved it (86225)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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