Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11583) - you deserved it (110613)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41468) - you deserved it (5316)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

#3017224
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50931) - you deserved it (17890)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14826) - you deserved it (99822)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was using the bathroom in a department store. When I was finished, I couldn't get the stall door open. I am claustrophobic and I freaked out and and started shouting for help. A 6 year old boy got the door open for me. It turns out I was pushing when I should have been pulling. FML

#3011337
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8757) - you deserved it (46313)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by ToiletTony (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was riding the bus home from the Verizon store after getting my brand new EnV Touch. I was taking pictures with it when I noticed a woman with very nice boobs. I zoomed in to get a better picture when she looked at me with a disgusted face. The external display was on. FML

#2997013
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6551) - you deserved it (88371)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by heythurr234 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving in my car when out of the corner of my eye I notice a car pulling up next to me trying to get past me. I speed up, so as not to let the car pass me. It took me a while before I noticed I was racing against the shadow of my own car. FML

#2991676
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7521) - you deserved it (68520)

On 06/18/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by nerd (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML

#2991516
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20066) - you deserved it (33987)

On 06/18/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

#2991081
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7647) - you deserved it (57590)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by stelno - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13429) - you deserved it (56566)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

#2990758
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (42616)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Jessey (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

#2990755
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45293) - you deserved it (8167)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

#2984635
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79024) - you deserved it (3043)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States



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