Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some losers car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML

#5999708
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31123) - you deserved it (2813)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by Jo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML

#5996462
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37336) - you deserved it (4725)

On 10/25/2009 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

#5991629
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (10448)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

#5991495
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31090) - you deserved it (3662)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML

#5990004
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28468) - you deserved it (3330)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my son told me he lost the envelope with all the money he earned selling Cub Scout popcorn. The popcorn was delivered already, and the money needs to be turned in to the pack leader tonight. I just spent $220 on popcorn my neighbors are eating. FML

#5989748
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28623) - you deserved it (5126)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:44am - misc - by ifyouseekmylife (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML

#5989698
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8873) - you deserved it (38578)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by madd_dizzle (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I kept restarting my internet, wondering why I wasn't receiving any messages from my friends. Then I realized they were all ignoring me. FML

#5989620
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26444) - you deserved it (8202)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by Happyforeverx (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I drove 3 hours to go to an award ceremony. When I got there, I had to wait an hour for the hall to open, then sat listening to speeches for two hours, got my "award", and drove 3 hours home. The award was a small pin that I already had. FML

#5988986
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26270) - you deserved it (4248)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by HoShiz (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. My speedometer got busted a few weeks back, rendering it useless. My father, a former mechanic, decided it's not worth the trouble of going in and fixing it. "Just keep with traffic when you're on the highway; you'll be fine." This $150 fee says otherwise. FML

#5987696
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12368) - you deserved it (26233)

On 10/25/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by ZThirteen (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

#5987290
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (6587)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by mack (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

#5984372
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16313) - you deserved it (27289)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Badday (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (14267)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)



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