Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32606) - you deserved it (2618)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML

#21305750
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (2255)

On 11/25/2014 at 11:14am - misc - by Blöde Gans - United States (Florida)

Today, a group of protesters set up just outside my residence hall at one in the morning. After an hour of chanting, the police finally told them to stop, and I was finally able to get some sleep. The protesters responded by pulling the fire alarm in every residence hall on campus. FML

#21305749
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (2610)

On 11/25/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by IHateProtesters (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML

#21305429
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (3240)

On 11/24/2014 at 9:17pm - misc - by Hammy - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

#21304482
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (7662)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:22pm - misc - by college student - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

#21304446
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43244) - you deserved it (2596)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

#21304373
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (2522)

On 11/23/2014 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

#21304265
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31093) - you deserved it (15411)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:10am - misc - by KilledTheMoment - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32690) - you deserved it (3042)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

#21303975
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30832) - you deserved it (2530)

On 11/22/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28438) - you deserved it (3264)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (1953)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by ShutUp007 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31352) - you deserved it (4104)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)



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