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Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
80 comments

Today, after politely reminding my husband to turn the bathroom light off after he's done, he did so. While I was on the toilet. FML

#21258522
56 comments

Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML

#21258099
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41097) - you deserved it (6403)

On 09/14/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by HiImAlfredo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40294) - you deserved it (4412)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (3143)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

#21257293
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (16085)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)

Today, while fishing my remote out from behind the couch, I found my fiancé's stash of old toenails. FML

#21257075
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33677) - you deserved it (2954)

On 09/12/2014 at 6:27pm - misc - by jjhach (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43133) - you deserved it (2710)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35272) - you deserved it (2921)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

#21256874
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20125) - you deserved it (40638)

On 09/12/2014 at 10:32am - misc - by uppiskalle - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19887) - you deserved it (25507)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I entered the lecture hall where my class takes place. I sat in the front row as usual, but I noticed that none of the other students looked familiar. I quickly realised that I was in the wrong class after a different professor showed up and told me to get out. FML

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML



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