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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36346) - you deserved it (2845)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, for my art project, I spent hours painting my whole body in black spots with acrylic paint. I then went and stood outside in the snow, naked, so I could take pictures of it. Only then to find out the camera was out of batteries. FML

#7197887
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8928) - you deserved it (33229)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:36am - misc - by Boob (woman) - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I got a haircut, and after thanking the stylist I went up front to pay. The lady behind the counter took one look at me, smiled and said "well, now you'll need a hat." FML

#7196833
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (2573)

On 01/07/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML

#7196823
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9528) - you deserved it (28440)

On 01/07/2010 at 9:43am - misc - by Doomy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on for a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me for the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get for politely declining a date with a married man. FML

#7193872
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40777) - you deserved it (2775)

On 01/07/2010 at 2:13am - misc - by nothotforteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

#7188892
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7564) - you deserved it (28000)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:58pm - misc - by mindlost (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

#7185908
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39683) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML

#7183146
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36357) - you deserved it (2662)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

#7183018
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19258) - you deserved it (25428)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51066) - you deserved it (2521)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I treated my friends to lunch at a posh restaurant because it's my birthday. While we were walking leisurely around the mall afterwards, their boyfriends showed up. I spent the next few hours walking alone behind them while they were walking hand in hand with their boyfriends. FML

#7177665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35436) - you deserved it (4402)

On 01/06/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by ribbonsundone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML

#7176423
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28766) - you deserved it (7426)

On 01/06/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Nox (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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