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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

#3048050
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9639) - you deserved it (56632)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, all my friends had a huge party and 'forgot' to invite me. They only remembered about me at 2 am when they called asking for rides home because they were all too drunk to drive. FML

#3040263
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39083) - you deserved it (1997)

On 06/19/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by Kerry (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was showing my unique new tattoo to my friends when a man approaches me with his digital camera and asks if he could take a picture of the tattoo for his website. I agreed. I find out later that it's a site about ugly tattoos. FML

#3038702
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11982) - you deserved it (38147)

On 06/19/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by popemichael (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to see what websites I go on from my computer while I wasn't home. She clicked the link that gave my computer a virus that I just got rid of a few days ago. FML

#3030585
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37616) - you deserved it (4451)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML

#3030130
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9169) - you deserved it (38745)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by crap (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

#3028813
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39447) - you deserved it (2912)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

#3025655
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42112) - you deserved it (17854)

On 06/19/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by ilikeirishducks (woman) - Italy

Today, I was mugged on my way to the bus stop. With no money or mobile I started to panic about the exam I had and ran the 3.5 miles to get to there. When I staggered up to the building only 20mins after the exam started, the university staff wouldn't let me sit it as I couldn't prove my identity. FML

#3022587
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50932) - you deserved it (2311)

On 06/19/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by verrine - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was finally going to fall asleep at a decent hour. Having insomnia, I generally get about 2 hours of sleep. Right as I'm about to fall asleep, 5 firetrucks decide to drive right in front of my house with the sirens/lights on. FML

#3021035
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41183) - you deserved it (4165)

On 06/19/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by insomniac (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11165) - you deserved it (109173)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40588) - you deserved it (5244)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

#3017224
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46155) - you deserved it (15991)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14218) - you deserved it (97993)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)



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