Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9660) - you deserved it (33652)
On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (6226)
On 02/12/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by yerface - United States (Texas)
Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40110) - you deserved it (6128)
On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44596) - you deserved it (4496)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Duckie W (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14395) - you deserved it (32054)
On 02/12/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by SmokedSalmon (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70952) - you deserved it (8745)
On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, campus security called to inform me that my car had been in an accident. I rushed down to the security office to find most of the officers laughing. A portable john blew over on to my car and smashed my rear window. Now, security calls me "Port-A-Potty Guy," and my car smells like shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33169) - you deserved it (1334)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:19pm - misc - by Johnny on the Spot (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dads words of wisdom were "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38233) - you deserved it (3200)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by cdaniel2 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I took my friend to buy a pregancy test. She took it and it came out negative. I decided to re-pee on it to be funny...it turned to positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45416) - you deserved it (16972)
On 02/12/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by whybia (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (3867)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by atterz123 (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8965) - you deserved it (26720)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by KWM (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9598) - you deserved it (47139)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by a genius (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (134492) - you deserved it (37251)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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