Today, campus security called to inform me that my car had been in an accident. I rushed down to the security office to find most of the officers laughing. A portable john blew over on to my car and smashed my rear window. Now, security calls me "Port-A-Potty Guy," and my car smells like shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33160) - you deserved it (1334)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:19pm - misc - by Johnny on the Spot (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dads words of wisdom were "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38227) - you deserved it (3200)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by cdaniel2 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I took my friend to buy a pregancy test. She took it and it came out negative. I decided to re-pee on it to be funny...it turned to positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45402) - you deserved it (16967)
On 02/12/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by whybia (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (3867)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by atterz123 (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8960) - you deserved it (26714)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by KWM (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9596) - you deserved it (47128)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by a genius (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (134146) - you deserved it (37214)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22653) - you deserved it (3626)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by language barriers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I said that at least I was always there for him when he needed me. He said "When did I need you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25330) - you deserved it (4391)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by rainyday (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8723) - you deserved it (23745)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Mal2222 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6954) - you deserved it (95797)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12094) - you deserved it (24502)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by ardenm - United States (California)
Today, I greeted my table (I'm a server) with a colloquial "Hey there, guys, how's it going?" The customers were three butch lesbians who thought I was incorrectly identifying their gender. I received no tip (on a $35 bill), and they registered a corporate complaint about my "insensitivity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (3310)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by ServingYouWings (man) - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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