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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML

#3528361
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37312) - you deserved it (13807)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by WhitneyHouston (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML

#3527232
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48523) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by AidenFromSweden (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

Today, I was leaving a cafe with some of my friends. I had to sit in the back by myself. I opened the door when I saw an old woman needing help getting to her car because it was raining. I shut the door and went to help. My friends thought I had gotten in. I was left in the rain with no phone. FML

#3518041
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32487) - you deserved it (4621)

On 07/06/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by FriendsSuck (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML

#3510795
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60048) - you deserved it (2474)

On 07/05/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML

#3509124
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11963) - you deserved it (64527)

On 07/05/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by colorblind (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40394) - you deserved it (21375)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML

#3500030
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48052) - you deserved it (7937)

On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML

#3498415
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42491) - you deserved it (2553)

On 07/05/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML

#3497280
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37368) - you deserved it (3257)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Disgusted (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

#3493845
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48959) - you deserved it (6197)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by bridezilla (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML

#3486397
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40031) - you deserved it (6044)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by litup (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML

#3486343
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30416) - you deserved it (39713)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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