FML: All the other funny stories

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- Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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- Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.

Today, I cancelled out of a video chat with my boyfriend to go take a dump. I took my computer with me to look at Facebook. It took three minutes for me to realize I was still on video chat. FML

#43092
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10641) - you deserved it (39406)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by videochat (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I realized the reason I was asked to babysit 3 weeks ago for Feb 14 was because the old married couple with kids safely assumed that I wouldn't have a Valentine. FML

#43018
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24415) - you deserved it (1946)

On 02/14/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by NoValentine (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got my license renewed and the woman behind the desk looked at me and said "guess we need to update the weight, huh?". FML

#41916
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (4199)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by faye (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

#41639
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33234) - you deserved it (2891)

On 02/14/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by semi-depressed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry..." FML

#41470
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19797) - you deserved it (2989)

On 02/14/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML

#40460
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23532) - you deserved it (1697)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by clementine8 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was crying after having argued with my boyfriend. My mom saw me, she asked "Why are you crying? Don't you have homework to do?" FML

#40006
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24336) - you deserved it (5154)

On 02/13/2009 at 11:43pm - misc - by crazycutie1027 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML

#39551
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (10710)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Yudansha (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40568) - you deserved it (6412)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

#38092
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39518) - you deserved it (3319)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

#37714
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (1849)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:40pm - misc - by samrodpuertorico (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

#37276
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23738) - you deserved it (5504)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

#37272
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (2486)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by sarahhh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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