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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

#5530332
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58314) - you deserved it (13639)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

#5526124
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40520) - you deserved it (3615)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, while wearing my Navy Dress White Uniform, I decided to stop and help this attractive girl who was not feeling well. Without warning, she blew chunks all over my "Whites". I have a uniform inspection later this afternoon. FML

#5526050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37492) - you deserved it (4564)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by mnavy (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41584) - you deserved it (16603)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

#5525122
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39540) - you deserved it (3260)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68613) - you deserved it (9252)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML

#5519699
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48564) - you deserved it (4166)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found an old friend of mine on Facebook. After adding her, I suggested friends for her. She ended up adding every single one I added, but not me. I later saw her ask one of those friends who the hell I was and how I knew all of them. We used to eat lunch together everyday. FML

#5519690
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34439) - you deserved it (2610)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by alliobamy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I arrived at work at 8, and business was abnormally slow, but we assumed it would pick up. Few hours later, we had not had a single customer. As I walk out of the restaurant, I realize the open sign has been off all day. FML

#5519537
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9293) - you deserved it (35314)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:03am - misc - by Charlotte - United States (Illinois)

Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML

#5515863
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40149) - you deserved it (2962)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML

#5513744
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29365) - you deserved it (19269)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by thanksbro (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36156) - you deserved it (5092)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

#5505995
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48740) - you deserved it (2122)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)



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