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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML

#4529563
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46180) - you deserved it (4932)

On 08/14/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by loverpants (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML

#4525177
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (7438)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by ragsy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was helping my brother clean his room. While putting clothes away, I found a box of thongs. They were mine. FML

#4523037
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52937) - you deserved it (3527)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by haha247 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

#4520748
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14802) - you deserved it (35655)

On 08/14/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by whoneedsdumbcars (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML

#4518775
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (3710)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Sadasian (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out my friend has been texting my long distance boyfriend more than I do. When I confronted her about it, she confessed that it was because they had been planning a surprise appearance for me. I've never been surprised before, and I ruined my own surprise. FML

#4517705
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15677) - you deserved it (42308)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:29am - misc - by neverbeensurprised (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43679) - you deserved it (6799)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44521) - you deserved it (11924)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my first facebook friend request in 4 months. I also got a message in my inbox. The message said: "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. Just ignore my friend request." FML

#4501015
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45006) - you deserved it (6927)

On 08/13/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by Jamie (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7656) - you deserved it (58595)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I was at a party with my girlfriend and this older guy came in and started talking to me about his rock climbing lessons earlier that week. I told him "I'm really drunk, so I really couldn't give a shit about what you did." It was my girlfriend's father picking her up to go home. FML

Today, it was my first day at a new school. I pulled into the parking lot and saw this really cute guy. I was checking him out in my rear view mirror. When I looked ahead, there was something in the road, so I swirved real hard and took down an entire wooden fence. That something was a plastic bag. FML

#4497607
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9052) - you deserved it (48245)

On 08/13/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by Distracted (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

#4495233
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8250) - you deserved it (61117)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by oldtexas (man) - United States (Utah)



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