Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21712) - you deserved it (13088)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27652) - you deserved it (6237)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

#6285115
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (5629)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by stubblebutt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML

#6283457
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35491) - you deserved it (2025)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by mynameis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

#6283375
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32955) - you deserved it (3251)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by stubble (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

#6283221
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41963) - you deserved it (2708)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by ournhd (man) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML

#6273710
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31315) - you deserved it (8842)

On 11/12/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was talking to a friend of mine over webcam, when I saw a scary looking man in a grey hoodie creeping around in the background. I loudly proclaimed "Paige! Who is that creepy looking guy behind you?" Turns out it was her mom. She heard everything. FML

#6271933
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21863) - you deserved it (9464)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Sursion (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

#6270812
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37943) - you deserved it (2685)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore

Today, I went to a karaoke bar that my girlfriend works at. I'm a halfway decent singer, so I picked out a song we both liked and decided to give it a go. Halfway through the song I sneezed, tripped, fell off the stage and knocked myself out in front of my girlfriend and fifty bar patrons. FML

#6269978
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28380) - you deserved it (5142)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:00am - misc - by helluvasinger (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I started talking to a friend about how he needs to stop overreacting and getting angry very easily. He kicked sand up in the air, and it came back into his eyes. He started getting angry, and when I told him this is what I was talking about, he hit me in the nose. FML

#6268731
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29351) - you deserved it (7185)

On 11/12/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by angrymadman3542342 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

#6265559
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32189) - you deserved it (4654)

On 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm - misc - by DangerZone (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9921) - you deserved it (34523)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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