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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

#3897377
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45047) - you deserved it (2717)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML

#3889146
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34901) - you deserved it (11367)

On 07/19/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I checked an old photosharing account. I got a new phone last year and didn't realize all the pictures I took with the new phone would still automatically upload to my account. Unknowingly, I posted naked pics of myself online. Not one of my friends told me. FML

#3884165
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13778) - you deserved it (51066)

On 07/19/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by nudie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML

#3882567
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45992) - you deserved it (4894)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Churizmo - United States

Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML

#3880719
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43000) - you deserved it (4373)

On 07/19/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by adalia (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML

#3879305
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48325) - you deserved it (4145)

On 07/19/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by phlyingphuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML

#3878598
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37620) - you deserved it (10588)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by lifedoessuck12 (man) - Philippines (Pasay)

Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML

#3878343
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51186) - you deserved it (6804)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was waiting in line with a friend, and she poked my stomach and said, "I wish I had your stomach." I asked her why. She said, "Boys wouldn't flirt with me." FML

#3872340
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45373) - you deserved it (4895)

On 07/19/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Pusillanimous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML

#3867495
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45148) - you deserved it (15577)

On 07/18/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by preggersss (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (59790)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

#3862614
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47168) - you deserved it (7270)

On 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by xobeachbabi428ox - United States (New Jersey)



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