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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML

#4177051
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91028) - you deserved it (3338)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by Betrayed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the Polish border when I found my passport was gone. I contacted the last place I stayed at and the owner said he would handle it. I reluctantly agreed as I was being charged international rates. Apparently, "taking care of it" means telling the embassy I'm retarded. FML

#4176027
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (5650)

On 07/31/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, I was talking to my guy friend on the phone. He said, "You sound depressed, I should cheer you up and give you a big hug." Jokingly, I responded, "You wouldn't hug something as gross as me." His response? "You'd be surprised." FML

#4174665
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13362) - you deserved it (39854)

On 07/31/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by Girafarig (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I covered for my friend at work because he said he was having car troubles and was going to be late. Two hours into the shift, I got a call from my roommate asking why my girlfriend had moved out. Turns out, I'd covered my friend's shift so he could help my girlfriend move out behind my back. FML

#4173235
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44453) - you deserved it (2849)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML

#4172225
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29772) - you deserved it (17632)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the doctors getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirups so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe I looked up to see my brother in law. FML

#4161962
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47804) - you deserved it (2473)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

#4156114
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46707) - you deserved it (3913)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

#4155760
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10930) - you deserved it (36284)

On 07/30/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML

#4155445
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (57037)

On 07/30/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by bit - United States (Florida) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

#4154850
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38068) - you deserved it (3803)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I bought a cool new pair of sunglasses. I wore them today, and all day I kept getting comments about how much I looked like Ozzy Osbourne and John Lennon. I'm a girl. FML

#4152950
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (11983)

On 07/30/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by poop_mcqueen (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

#4151935
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7660) - you deserved it (78574)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by FGum (man) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML

#4147298
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37167) - you deserved it (3984)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm - misc - by arsenic660 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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