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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML

#5972663
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26928) - you deserved it (6832)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML

#5972550
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (9137)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by HungryGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

#5971650
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (5434)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by nnnaaazzz - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

#5971275
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (6162)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

#5968472
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31377) - you deserved it (3170)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the post office and as I entered the building my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML

#5968362
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8990) - you deserved it (34626)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by kiran - United States (California)

Today, I found a dead puppy in my backyard. I have never owned any pets. FML

#5966909
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39602) - you deserved it (2242)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by WhyMe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

#5966338
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11808) - you deserved it (30661)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML

#5966282
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35402) - you deserved it (12226)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by lloydLO (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

#5964680
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31084) - you deserved it (6558)

On 10/23/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML

#5959994
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35401) - you deserved it (3011)

On 10/23/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by iross (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and ipod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML

#5958359
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48279) - you deserved it (2834)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by abdominates (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to remind my roommates of the importance of wearing clothing at all times in the common living area. My roommates are my parents. FML

#5957888
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34960) - you deserved it (5681)

On 10/23/2009 at 11:54am - misc - by ihatemylife (woman) - United States (Florida)



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