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Man or woman?

Today, I was holding a yard sale. A man came up to me and asked if he could buy a pair of red and white sneakers that I'd found in my attic and had never worn. Five bucks later, he was walking away with what I now realize was the pair of shoes signed by Michael Jordan given to me by my uncle. FML

#3455804
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12458) - you deserved it (70389)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by capcha (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while going up a ski-lift I accidentally dropped my ticket. The ticket I needed at the top to come back down. I had to hike down the mountain in flip-flops. FML

#3454953
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29144) - you deserved it (14129)

On 07/03/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

#3442749
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13951) - you deserved it (98211)

On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the gym to lift weights because my arm muscles are pathetic. In order to use a machine, I needed to pull out a knob to adjust the seat setting. After an embarassing struggle, a worker came over and helped me. Turns out I'm not even strong enough to adjust the seat settings. FML

#3440456
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (6893)

On 07/02/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by Heethersays (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

#3437609
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41495) - you deserved it (15671)

On 07/02/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by ChocoMilkManG (man) - United States

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20622) - you deserved it (47981)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML

#3428912
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67632) - you deserved it (2632)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by daRN (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, I decided I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML

#3423786
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35080) - you deserved it (12581)

On 07/02/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by nobleach - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

#3420908
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42941) - you deserved it (14862)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

#3419869
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47268) - you deserved it (10692)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:22am - misc - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML

#3416455
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11580) - you deserved it (43217)

On 07/02/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by Kronic (man) - United States (California)

Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML

#3415311
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33486) - you deserved it (19778)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by iluvcoconutrough (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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