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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML

#7467735
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34528) - you deserved it (2717)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML

#7467254
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5410) - you deserved it (70257)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML

#7461664
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9255) - you deserved it (35263)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by muffincakess - Sent from mobile version

Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML

#7456887
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6762) - you deserved it (33568)

On 01/20/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by Shoeless (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

#7454643
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32713) - you deserved it (4289)

On 01/20/2010 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

#7453526
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26845) - you deserved it (4767)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:47am - misc - by hatesmellyfeet (man) - United States (California)

Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML

#7452564
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20320) - you deserved it (4643)

On 01/20/2010 at 5:01am - misc - by embarrassedinretail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying "yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them". FML

#7451300
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8615) - you deserved it (45396)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found a piece of rice in my belly button. I can't remember the last time I ate or handled rice. FML

#7450166
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8841) - you deserved it (35430)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by kerry (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

#7450090
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6249) - you deserved it (82296)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by embareassed (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to my cell phone alarm buzzing. It wasn't time to wake up yet, so I snoozed it. It buzzed again, this time with "One New Voicemail." I had "snoozed" my nephew. Stationed in Iraq. FML

#7449999
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32100) - you deserved it (13517)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

#7448210
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41533) - you deserved it (14906)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

#7442500
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9481) - you deserved it (29370)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by maximus (man) - United States (Maryland)



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