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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27086) - you deserved it (4255)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

#7508111
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16285) - you deserved it (27354)

On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

#7502542
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32054) - you deserved it (2445)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44391) - you deserved it (3732)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

#7499044
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32567) - you deserved it (2587)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I went to contest a parking ticket in court. I came out 3 hours later, all charges clear, to a new parking ticket on my windshield, for the same amount I just got cleared. FML

#7497473
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10587) - you deserved it (29243)

On 01/22/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by sdfsdf - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

#7493259
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25422) - you deserved it (8131)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by noooooo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54558) - you deserved it (4320)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

#7478181
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/21/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by diorlove - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML

#7475785
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (32896)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by jalapeno_popper (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

#7471357
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14973) - you deserved it (29588)

On 01/21/2010 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML

#7467735
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (2717)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML

#7467254
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5395) - you deserved it (70231)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)



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