Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4446) - you deserved it (48083)
On 03/05/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by anashaalmajiid (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16868) - you deserved it (49205)
On 03/05/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by cane - United States (North Carolina)
Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56982) - you deserved it (3572)
On 03/05/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by failout (man) - United States (California)
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (397984) - you deserved it (30175)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46009) - you deserved it (2456)
On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my birthday. I set up a dinner party for 20 of my closest friends. I arrived at the restaurant, fully dressed and everything. When I got there, I thought everyone was ready to surprise me, but instead, nobody showed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83758) - you deserved it (5282)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:24am - misc - by STUPID BIRTHDAY (man) - United States
Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost a year because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because I'm "overweight," even though I only weigh 130 pounds. Afterward I went to my friend's house and sat in an old wooden chair. It broke into pieces as soon as I sat down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75135) - you deserved it (7924)
On 03/05/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by saltinawound (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I passed by a small shop and decided to go in to look at the jeans. Before I could even step in, the shop owner told me expressionlessly, "All the sizes here are too small for you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48082) - you deserved it (6049)
On 03/05/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Brrrb (woman) - Singapore
Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31222) - you deserved it (9917)
On 03/04/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by a person - United States (California)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70848) - you deserved it (3726)
On 03/04/2009 at 9:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)
Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51796) - you deserved it (2855)
On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63485) - you deserved it (7319)
On 03/04/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Damn_her (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60469) - you deserved it (2078)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by ringmaster101 (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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