Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML

#6134819
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33208) - you deserved it (2136)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by wrongcar - United States (Kansas)

Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML

#6133769
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (5942)

On 11/03/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by katurday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. FML

#6131047
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26475) - you deserved it (2117)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML

#6129254
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30191) - you deserved it (1655)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML

#6128327
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28695) - you deserved it (5380)

On 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by Shawty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

#6125529
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24811) - you deserved it (2777)

On 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by justin_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a letter confirming I had dropped out of college. I received this letter shortly after completing the 10th essay I had finished this week as a result of me deciding to finally apply myself to my schoolwork. Turns out that while dropping a class, I checked Drop All instead of Drop 1. FML

#6122684
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17762) - you deserved it (38837)

On 11/02/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Rman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to a family counseling session because my parents are getting a divorce. I told the counselor that I feel guilty because I feel like I caused it. She says that there is no way I could have caused it, that it's my parents' problem when my mom interrupts her to say "Yes she did." FML

#6120985
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40646) - you deserved it (3237)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by problemchild (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML

#6120189
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49841) - you deserved it (3233)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by baldygirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to get a haircut. The hairdresser at the counter was kind of cute, so I had to say something non-standard. When she greeted me with her hello, I replied "Guess what I need from you today?" She looked at me, considered, and replied "An eyebrow wax?" FML

#6118642
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8400) - you deserved it (36219)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42706) - you deserved it (3276)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friends created a fake Facebook profile of a girl, and asked me to be in a relationship. Even my friends think I can't get a real girlfriend, and need a fake one to feel better. FML

#6116492
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27141) - you deserved it (3960)

On 11/02/2009 at 7:41am - misc - by chocolaterabbit - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: