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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

#2873732
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37121) - you deserved it (3690)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by number2 - United States (California)

Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML

#2870755
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33568) - you deserved it (14378)

On 06/13/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by philderichmond (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML

#2867834
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40865) - you deserved it (9112)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by anonymous1 - United States (California)

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

#2865123
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41653) - you deserved it (2098)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Meg (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

#2864467
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (8716)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML

#2860998
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7501) - you deserved it (44244)

On 06/13/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by knoppad (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I logged into facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, they were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

#2856360
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37159) - you deserved it (5682)

On 06/13/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by Facebook (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77004) - you deserved it (3480)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt... into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML

#2846826
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9789) - you deserved it (66411)

On 06/13/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him as well as my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worth $0. I said yes. He cut the wrong card. FML

#2839011
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49195) - you deserved it (3759)

On 06/12/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by bryans_fresh (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my band had a show. We played a love song, and during the bridge, I ask out a friend of mine who was in the crowd, over the mic, in front of at least 200 people. She said no. FML

#2834470
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45152) - you deserved it (18080)

On 06/12/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Guitar-ZERO - United States (Connecticut)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130419) - you deserved it (8968)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my drivers license suspended until I am 18 for driving without a license. Where was I driving to? My last day of Drivers Ed. The high school where I take Drivers Ed. classes at is across the street from my house. I gave up 3 years of driving to drive 100 feet. FML

#2822443
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23952) - you deserved it (92041)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by studentdriver828 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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