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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my best friend planned a birthday party for me at the local Mexican restaurant. NO ONE showed up. We told the Mexican waiter there would be 18 arriving. Two hours later he brought me free ice cream. Even the non-english speaking waiters knew I was a loser. FML

#7600805
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33372) - you deserved it (3710)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Candace - United States

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

#7594942
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37956) - you deserved it (2348)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents got me a new computer for my birthday. They also took the liberty of throwing out my old computer, with 8 years of photos, videos, music, documents, emails, and bookmarks on it. But that's okay, I had a backup. They threw that out too. FML

#7591747
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39369) - you deserved it (2320)

On 01/26/2010 at 4:25pm - misc - by computergeek (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after wondering why I didn't receive a grade for a summer course I took in 2007, I realized that I gave the professor the wrong student ID number. Someone else received credit. I've been waiting on this grade for 8 months in order to graduate. FML

#7589933
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14716) - you deserved it (29521)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by optimist - United States (California)

Today, my family threw me a surprise party for my 29th Birthday. My brother-in-law sent me a text telling me they were all waiting for me to arrive. Thinking it was at my sister's home, I drove two hours there. It was actually at my parents' house. I missed my party and they ate my cake. FML

#7589871
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27609) - you deserved it (8350)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

#7587300
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6070) - you deserved it (53138)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:39am - misc - by Fonz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and went to go have a shower. The trouble is, my bedroom door is broken and will no longer open. My mother's idea of helping was pushing a note under the door saying she'll be back in a couple of hours. FML

Today, I had a completely improvised audition for the school play. The director called me and one of the cutest guys auditioning to improvise an intimate scene. Knowing that I'm a complete klutz, I wasn't all that surprised when I tripped over my feet and landed with my face in his crotch. He was. FML

#7582501
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27359) - you deserved it (3781)

On 01/26/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was putting groceries into my car, and I put the eggs on the driver's seat while I arranged my other bags. I was frustrated because the dome light was acting up, which drives me crazy. Once I got everything in, I crankily plopped into the car. I had never moved the eggs off my seat. FML

#7576181
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8377) - you deserved it (28853)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:41pm - misc - by EggyBum (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my crush went on webcam on MSN. He looked really adorable, so I took about 6 screen shots and copied them into paint. I accidentally took a screenshot of my screen with all the pictures on paint and copied it into the conversation. FML

#7575221
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7466) - you deserved it (42750)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by 420dits (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

#7568710
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8779) - you deserved it (30624)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML

#7568614
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8014) - you deserved it (33271)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:13pm - misc - by kodijack (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I used the Print Screen button to take a picture of a really cute bag that I want for my birthday. After emailing it to my mom, I noticed I'd forgotten to close another tab in the browser. The tab had a very suggestive title, for an even more suggestive website. FML

#7568071
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6770) - you deserved it (32254)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:21pm - misc - by lala (woman) - United States (Florida)



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