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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that shouting 'arsehole' at a speeding car is not a good idea. Two chavs MIGHT just turn around, drive onto the pavement and push you into a bush. FML

#7640098
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11348) - you deserved it (27961)

On 01/28/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by Daivv (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML

#7638250
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14485) - you deserved it (38101)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:08am - misc - by tattooooooface - United States

Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML

#7637275
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (28501)

On 01/28/2010 at 6:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Telemark)

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9522) - you deserved it (41245)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML

#7635822
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29779) - you deserved it (2914)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36194) - you deserved it (6926)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

#7624782
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17346) - you deserved it (23274)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:41pm - misc - by spleechick - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

#7621878
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5664) - you deserved it (47501)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Glutton (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

#7613862
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (3701)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, while my teacher was in the middle of a lecture, I accidentally made it so my laptop would display everything upside down. It took me the rest of class to get it right side up again. FML

#7613726
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8447) - you deserved it (29494)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

#7612223
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6551) - you deserved it (39475)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

#7609495
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33920) - you deserved it (4180)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:05am - misc - by samantha (woman) - Singapore

Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

#7608108
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39468) - you deserved it (3378)

On 01/27/2010 at 5:20am - misc - by Sundendako (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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