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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36106) - you deserved it (6916)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

#7624782
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17345) - you deserved it (23272)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:41pm - misc - by spleechick - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

#7621878
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5647) - you deserved it (47454)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Glutton (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

#7613862
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (3701)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, while my teacher was in the middle of a lecture, I accidentally made it so my laptop would display everything upside down. It took me the rest of class to get it right side up again. FML

#7613726
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8447) - you deserved it (29492)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

#7612223
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6545) - you deserved it (39447)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

#7609495
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (4177)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:05am - misc - by samantha (woman) - Singapore

Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

#7608108
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39465) - you deserved it (3377)

On 01/27/2010 at 5:20am - misc - by Sundendako (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML

#7607342
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39999) - you deserved it (8699)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a tense tiebreak round to win the local pub quiz. As the quizmaster read out more clues, I got the answer, got up and rushed to be the first team to the bar. I tripped, faceplanted. The whole bar laughed, and then I realized that it wasn't a "fastest to the bar" round. FML

#7607297
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (23863)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:24am - misc - by pubquizgenius (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML

#7606861
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (2464)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Brummsta (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

#7605430
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (8297)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by garage - Sent from mobile version

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

#7603599
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42105) - you deserved it (4233)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)



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