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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got an electric shaver hoping that it would reduce the risk of cutting myself than shaving with a manual one. However, I cut myself opening the plastic package with the shaver inside. FML

#2906195
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33276) - you deserved it (11992)

On 06/15/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by shaverguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I rented a hotel room. She decided to go to bed, while I watched MythBusters. Apparently, my mom got hot while she slept. She threw the covers off of herself and pulled up her night-gown. I turned to find out that my mother does not wear underwear when she sleeps. FML

#2905430
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50366) - you deserved it (3371)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:45am - misc - by ZAS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I used a porta-potty. After I came out, my mom came out of one and said "I really wish I could wash my hands." I explained that I used the little soap bar that was on the side of the toilet in mine. She told me that was a urinal and the soap bar was a disinfectant bar. FML

#2903638
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13400) - you deserved it (52845)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by hockeyfanaticx87 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML

#2903036
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33445) - you deserved it (3319)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by brutality (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandpa died. I decided to call my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit: "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

#2901718
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44175) - you deserved it (22583)

On 06/15/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

#2900113
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15702) - you deserved it (47382)

On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

#2896238
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47068) - you deserved it (3309)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

#2894787
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51645) - you deserved it (2089)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by bitches. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at my friends birthday party, dancing bare foot because my feet hurt from the heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML

#2893086
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39743) - you deserved it (4967)

On 06/14/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by not-so-happy-feet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML

#2888954
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37443) - you deserved it (11597)

On 06/14/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by Rainman (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was accidentally tagged in a photo of a group of people by a 'friend' on Facebook. She later corrected it, apparently everyone had already seen the tag and decided that the comment box below was a great opportunity to discuss how none of them would ever be caught dead hanging out with me. FML

#2885817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43782) - you deserved it (3256)

On 06/14/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by Coolkid. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my motorcycle was stolen from the 4th level of my “secure” gated parking garage. I strategically park it tightly between my car and a concrete wall to limit theft opportunity. They scratched my car trying to get it out. FML

#2885254
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38446) - you deserved it (2593)

On 06/14/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by stolenbike (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my family was discussing the new rules of the house we are moving in. They told my sister she couldn't have any boys in her room. They didn't tell me I couldn't have any girls in my room. Even my parents think I can't get a girlfriend. FML

#2885124
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36969) - you deserved it (4295)

On 06/14/2009 at 1:20pm - misc - by FML1994 (man) - United States (California)



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