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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML

#6147856
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36002) - you deserved it (2220)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by burned (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

#6147430
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36451) - you deserved it (4420)

On 11/04/2009 at 3:44am - misc - by ishouldhidethekeys (woman) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I got a phone call from my dad that I haven't heard from in months. I didn't answer, but it left me an accidental voicemail saying "Oh s***, I didn't mean to call her!" FML

#6145553
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30075) - you deserved it (2096)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by assdialed. (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I watched my car roll backwards on the freeway, while attached to the tow truck that I was sitting in. FML

#6144396
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23407) - you deserved it (2022)

On 11/03/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by ljd09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

#6141684
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23802) - you deserved it (4830)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by scaryhairy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, good news! The guitar I have been saving up for, for 5 months, finally arrived. It came inside a beautiful black and white case, and impossible to get into without the key. They didn't pack the key. FML

#6136343
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32580) - you deserved it (2493)

On 11/03/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by RedLion23 (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while I was driving out of the student parking lot I saw people laughing. Then the old security lady yelled for me to stop. She told me my books were on the top of my car but one had already fallen off. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw all of my school papers flying everywhere. FML

#6136061
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13780) - you deserved it (27107)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I am partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML

#6136055
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33425) - you deserved it (1771)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML

#6134819
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33208) - you deserved it (2136)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by wrongcar - United States (Kansas)

Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML

#6133769
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (5940)

On 11/03/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by katurday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. FML

#6131047
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (2117)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML

#6129254
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30186) - you deserved it (1655)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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