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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

#7757731
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26493) - you deserved it (3207)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

#7744599
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8761) - you deserved it (33018)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21519) - you deserved it (36310)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

#7739701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31146) - you deserved it (3275)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by bthms - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML

#7738687
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (2567)

On 01/31/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

#7732891
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7450) - you deserved it (91660)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

#7728749
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32287) - you deserved it (6706)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

#7725800
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24289) - you deserved it (5628)

On 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm - misc - by sparkle (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

#7718053
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30751) - you deserved it (4267)

On 01/30/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by hahahawoww (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

#7711889
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18725) - you deserved it (80611)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my heating broke. It's 22 degrees outside, and my father won't let us call someone to fix it because apparently the cold helps the soul grow. FML

#7708353
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31398) - you deserved it (2823)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:45pm - misc - by vikhelios - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad came out of a hotel bathroom with nothing but a wash-cloth over his crotch and said "look! this place has cotton loin clothes" in front of my wedding party. FML

#7706171
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30215) - you deserved it (2316)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:21pm - misc - by indianaxx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that the only reason my boyfriend has been coming over to hang out at my house for the past two months is because my little brother has an N64. I have become a third wheel to their mario kart dates. FML

#7699388
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27840) - you deserved it (3907)

On 01/30/2010 at 4:40am - misc - by wowsucks (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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