Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident, when my dad came to pick me up instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when he went to the hospital while I clutched my arm in pain. FML

#4222562
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43917) - you deserved it (3615)

On 08/02/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working as a cashier at my job. A guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said "Oh shit I forgot my wallet!" and walked away. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML

#4219084
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41266) - you deserved it (2875)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by drano - United States (California)

Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must have been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML

#4218471
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31798) - you deserved it (12526)

On 08/01/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by special-ingredient (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we had a hike at my camp. We hiked in a line. I suddenly felt things hitting me at the back of the head. After a few minutes I finally turn around, only to discover a bunch of older guys throwing tampons at my head. They were my tampons, falling one by one out of my unzipped bag. FML

#4212486
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36466) - you deserved it (9007)

On 08/01/2009 at 7:13pm - misc - by Rachel247 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was holding my baby daughter during a checkup. To reassure her, I was kissing the back of her head while the Dr. was checking her hearing. After a few minutes, I realized the Dr. had put his hand to steady her head. I was kissing his hand. FML

#4210609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36623) - you deserved it (20914)

On 08/01/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by smoochie -

Today, I got pulled over for the first time since I got my license. I have disorganized speech and occasional inappropriate emotional response. I began to laugh due to nervousness and when I tried to explain why, I was arrested because he thought I was high. FML

#4208437
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47870) - you deserved it (4843)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by Jesse (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML

#4206061
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51203) - you deserved it (4082)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Electronotfriend (woman) - Poland (Pomorskie)

Today, my Dad sent me an e-mail wishing me a "Happy 21st Birthday, sweetheart!" The message went on and on about how much he loves and misses me and wishes we were closer, and can't believe how fast I'm growing up. I'm 23 and my birthday is in December. FML

#4203551
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47788) - you deserved it (2416)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML

#4203484
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8034) - you deserved it (52825)

On 08/01/2009 at 8:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59410) - you deserved it (9523)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML

#4196733
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56246) - you deserved it (2345)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

#4186568
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14079) - you deserved it (64113)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, there was a 10-minute cloudburst. It started 30 seconds after I parked my car and ended 30 seconds after I arrived at the office. Now the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I look like I took a shower fully clothed. Oh, and I'm wearing thin white pants. FML

#4181864
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40674) - you deserved it (7164)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by Soaked (woman) - United States (Texas)



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