Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48726) - you deserved it (9944)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by epictothemax - United States (Illinois)
Today, I received my graduation gift, a bath robe, from my parents. I have two older sisters graduated. The first one got a Tiffanys bracelet, the second one got a plane ticket to Europe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59788) - you deserved it (2345)
On 03/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by dileigh (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77509) - you deserved it (20759)
On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)
Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61555) - you deserved it (2173)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58241) - you deserved it (2029)
On 03/10/2009 at 9:02am - misc - by Janet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74860) - you deserved it (21257)
On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16992) - you deserved it (41578)
On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting my co-workers son. He was eating jell-o and spilt it on his top, so I pulled off his pj's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36878) - you deserved it (4153)
On 03/09/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70020) - you deserved it (6289)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52142) - you deserved it (2216)
On 03/09/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by Tony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10791) - you deserved it (81535)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (62225) - you deserved it (1936)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by stillwaiting (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (67586) - you deserved it (7161)
On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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