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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

#7839912
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8736) - you deserved it (37422)

On 02/03/2010 at 3:42am - misc - by notaprossie (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

#7837909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (2438)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:27am - misc - by rainey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was developing film at walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking off my sweatshirt. This creepy old man approaches me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML

#7837856
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32648) - you deserved it (4181)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by hotandbothered (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML

#7815637
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10898) - you deserved it (31083)

On 02/02/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Namnack - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I received a detention because I threw up on the school nurse who wasn't going to send me home. According to her, stomach ulcers are not a true health issue, so there's no reason to leave. FML

#7814499
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42400) - you deserved it (2170)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:38pm - misc - by mollymaykitty - Sent from mobile version

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML

#7812980
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9000) - you deserved it (25039)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Forgetfull (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got another email from Amazon asking me how I like my new Kindle. I don't have a Kindle. It's the one I bought my ex for Christmas, right before she left me while I was deployed overseas. FML

#7811956
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (2623)

On 02/02/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by tony1401 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

#7810675
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39013) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/02/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jacques (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML

#7805682
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41362) - you deserved it (3310)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:57am - misc - by Zephyric - United States (California)

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

#7803778
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12421) - you deserved it (52005)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a ticket. The officer's daughter is my ex. He gave me a ticket for 31 in a 30 mph zone. FML

#7803637
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38692) - you deserved it (5540)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by anoynomous - Sent from mobile version

Today, the windows on my car were frozen. I filled up a bucket of hot water, and threw it on the windows. The windows cracked. FML

#7803413
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8130) - you deserved it (79215)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by Chris - Sent from mobile version



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