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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML

#6422707
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29646) - you deserved it (2197)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Yue (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up in a closet of a four star hotel, having spent the night drinking. I am a secondary school teacher and I have been visiting this place on a school trip. My flight left at 4am this morning and it's now 1pm in the afternoon. FML

#6421481
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6501) - you deserved it (53914)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Nicholasand (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML

#6421285
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31593) - you deserved it (2773)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by ellie (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML

#6420753
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28517) - you deserved it (5261)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by PaperInfection (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML

#6418903
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (35632)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I saw one of my favorite hockey players in public. I had met him once before, and to my shock, he remembered me. I was pretty excited until he started talking to his friend in French. He didn't seem to realize that I'm fluent in the language. He basically called me "ugly psycho bitch." FML

#6417611
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35913) - you deserved it (6157)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend called me freaking out because of an online pregnancy test. She was scared because she had no idea that she was pregnant, let alone having a fifteen pound baby. The website is a joke. She goes to an Ivy League school, and I couldn't even get into community college. FML

#6416233
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35130) - you deserved it (3788)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

#6414325
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7876) - you deserved it (39131)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by drunkennight (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, while looking through a stack of possible pictures for Facebook, I found one I really liked, until I noticed that I have recently developed a bald patch. Problem? I am a 22 year old woman. FML

#6408288
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28915) - you deserved it (2726)

On 11/22/2009 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

#6406630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43972) - you deserved it (2605)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

#6404415
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23163) - you deserved it (17047)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by nolinguist (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, as I woke up early to do my physics homework, I heard my parents talk about how big a disappointment I am for them. They discussed how stupid, immature and how big a burden I was. They knew I was listening. FML

#6403187
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34264) - you deserved it (4078)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Cerezo (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

#6402525
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36276) - you deserved it (5771)

On 11/22/2009 at 8:53am - misc - by mjperfetti84 (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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