Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14974) - you deserved it (38370)
On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43772) - you deserved it (4196)
On 02/28/2009 at 5:52am - misc - by Judiee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12047) - you deserved it (54323)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17337) - you deserved it (31349)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7426) - you deserved it (44422)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by mylifeisamovie - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31579) - you deserved it (9509)
On 02/28/2009 at 12:03am - misc - by caswell 1 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18164) - you deserved it (34099)
On 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by bojangles (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was recorded a video for my friend on her wall, I forgot to click "stop recording" and got undressed for a shower. When I got out of the shower I noticed I hadn't posted it. A few minutes later I started getting a lot of notifications. Everyone was commenting on my nude video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13870) - you deserved it (38052)
On 02/27/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by paige (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13304) - you deserved it (30401)
On 02/27/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by tan disaster - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My team mates waved and said "Bye POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66285) - you deserved it (3948)
On 02/27/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by ap84 - United States (California)
Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49275) - you deserved it (3856)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I wore out the highest heels I had but was nervous about falling because I am such a klutz. I got through the night without any injuries, so I changed into the sneakers I had brought with me to walk home. I tripped right outside my house in my sneakers and broke my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44116) - you deserved it (4436)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by klutz - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86531) - you deserved it (9384)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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