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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, there was this girl in heels running in front of me at school, and she slipped on ice. Trying to be a hero, I dropped my backpack and ran up to help her, but ended up slipping and landing on her leg. As I walked back to my backpack, I found out I dropped my laptop and broke it. FML

#7908847
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (14138)

On 02/05/2010 at 4:27pm - misc - by POP101 (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was anxiously waiting for the guy I had a crush on to pick me up for our first date. He shows up with his son, whom I never knew about, and takes us to Chuck E. Cheese. FML

#7908561
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28974) - you deserved it (5168)

On 02/05/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

#7905644
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6906) - you deserved it (54105)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by goldenshower (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

#7902895
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29981) - you deserved it (6171)

On 02/05/2010 at 10:14am - misc - by fububc - Sent from mobile version

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

#7901856
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37317) - you deserved it (8386)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother and I were driving through Del Taco. Instead of ordering "Macho Diet Coke", she said "Macho Diet Cock". After correcting herself and pulling up to the window, the employee who goes to my high school gave her the drink and his phone number. FML

#7898835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (2660)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by MachoFluster (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

#7897193
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31470) - you deserved it (3371)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32268) - you deserved it (26770)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML

#7889872
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8360) - you deserved it (67329)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:12pm - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

#7876927
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25980) - you deserved it (3184)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:53pm - misc - by Ewwwwww - United States

Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML

#7868479
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31235) - you deserved it (2406)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:34am - misc - by city_girl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had lunch with a co-worker, and after having a good talk and enjoying each others company, we got up to leave. Right before we said goodbye, she looked me right in the face and looking legitimately confused said "you know, I really don't understand why no one at work likes you." FML

#7865660
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31230) - you deserved it (2557)

On 02/04/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by crazyclumzy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a road-trip with some of my buddies, when we stopped at a gas station. When I opened the door to their bathroom, brown water flowed out, soaking my legs up to my knees. I then spent another 2 hours in an enclosed vehicle. FML

#7860912
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (2158)

On 02/03/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by UptoHERE (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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