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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was ordering food at McDonalds when a condom fell out and onto the counter. The server looked at me funny before my friend turned around and said, "It's okay, he's never going to use it." FML

#5896652
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29621) - you deserved it (7176)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by ThePidgeon (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

#5896023
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11162) - you deserved it (30663)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML

#5893479
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60379) - you deserved it (3832)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:50am - misc - by cc10 (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML

#5892074
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47546) - you deserved it (2899)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Indonesia (Jawa Timur)

Today, my research partner emails me 2 hours before our deadline saying that she can't complete her half of our 20 page report because when she woke up this morning she couldn't see. How did she write the email? FML

#5888357
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40026) - you deserved it (2242)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by NUsConstantine (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spilled a half bottle of superglue on my hands. I also found out that cold water only makes it harden faster. FML

#5878070
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27782) - you deserved it (14468)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:38pm - misc - by Xia (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was out for a nice walk and saw a man being attacked by a large crowd. Instinctively I ran to help him. I pushed one "thug" off him and that little time allowed him to escape. I later found out the man I saved had just keyed someone's car and they had intervened. Guess whose car. FML

Today, it was Homecoming. During the dance, I saw this mentally handicapped guy ask this pretty girl to dance. She said no. So I went over to him and asked him to dance. He replied that he only wanted to dance with "pretty girls" and I was not one. FML

#5877463
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49229) - you deserved it (4988)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:32am - misc - by omgwtf (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was the elections for Student Council President. I decided to be nice and vote for the only other competitor because it was her birthday. I lost by one vote. FML

#5876259
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16693) - you deserved it (45944)

On 10/18/2009 at 8:25am - misc - by presidont (woman) - Switzerland

Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm 'so slow a turtle could kick my ass' and that he has 'a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend.' FML

#5876012
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16443) - you deserved it (33777)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:30am - misc - by cheat - United States (Texas)

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

#5875865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36084) - you deserved it (6963)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad was supposed to come see me for our twice-a-year visit. He was 3 hours late. So I called, and asked him why he was late - he said 'Oh, something came up'. I asked him what was so important. Apparently, the garage needed cleaning. FML

#5874542
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28998) - you deserved it (1889)

On 10/18/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by karina17 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

#5870216
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33496) - you deserved it (3662)

On 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by paris78 - Canada (Ontario)



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